Emily's Adventures (across the World....)

Gratitude.

2010-07-31T18:49:00.000-07:00

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.."~JFK

As August roles around (yes, I said AUGUST?! Where did the summer go??), I have had moments to reflect upon my summer and wonder how well it went. Overall, lately, I have been feeling exhausted, burnt out, angry, frusterated, the list goes on and on.....which isn't normal for me. At times I have even felt and expressed (yes, shocking) a negative attitude! The other day I literally had to STOP myself out loud and wonder what the heck is going on with me? Partially, I am too busy this summer. Because I spent five glorious months in the US Virgin Islands (an experience I will eternally be grateful for), I have spent my summer playing 'catch up' between working 3 different jobs & taking two summer school classes. This leaves little time for socializing and play, which is detrimental to my well-being ( and who's wouldn't it be?). So, instead of continuing these feelings I asked myself what can I do? How can I become more in control? A tool I use daily ( and found myself not using it as frequently) is gratitude. Being thankful from the little pleasures in life to being thankful for the bigger things in life, such as purpose or those meaningful relationships we all have. So, I decided to make a list of the top things in life that I am entirely grateful in my life ( I can feel my positive attitude coming back!! Woo hoo!!)...

1. Relationships. As an extrovert and one who seeks to find the meaning & purpose of my life, I have found that one thing I am incredibly grateful for is the amazing people in my life. From family to friends to the people I have met traveling the world to my co-workers to ....the list goes on and on.....I love relationships. I have a natural ability to let people into my life ( and hope they allow me to enter theirs) to provide support, comfort, share laughs with, cry with, love, and together make meaning and purpose. I truly believe I have some of the best people in the world in my life- and will continue to because it energizes me!

2. Travel. I have been truly blessed with a thirst for adventure, to see the world, to explore other cultures, to learn from others....and because of this travel, I have become more open. I have become less judgemental, more accepting, have been able to appreciate the things I have seen and done but also what others have as well.....at at the age of 21, I have seen a lot. I will continue to love my spirit for adventure and appreciate travel of any sort- whether it is a road trip with great friends ( which I will be doing to end my summer....off with girlfriends I grew up with to Chicago for a long weekend!), studying abroad, living abroad, etc. etc.

3. Laughter. I am sooo grateful for laughter. Sometimes I take life to seriously ( I have a tendency to want to grow up faster than I really should), and there is nothing better than sitting around laughing with friends, at yourself ( which I tend to do a lot), wherever and whenever. Laughter is good for the soul- it can ease tension, make people feel better, allows us to be children again, etc.

4. I am grateful for a roof over my head, food on my table, insurance, and clean drinking water. I will never forget the day when I was studying abroad in Capetown, South Africa and we were in Guguletu ( taking a tour of the township) and I for the first time witnessed people standing in line waiting for electricity. It was explained to our group that people wait hours, sometimes their entire day, to scrap up what money they could find in exchange for enough electricity to cook their evening dinner. This was a TRUE wake up call that I have been priviledged enough to grow up in an area of the world and surrounded by family who has been able to provide for me- I not once had to think about where I would be sleeping, if there would be food on my plate, or if the water I was drinking would make me sick. I am and continue to be thankful for this.

5. Work. Yes, I said it....I am grateful I have a job! (and not just one, but three!). Sometimes it is easy to forget, for me, that hundreds of thousands of people in the United States ( let alone aroune the world) are out of jobs...unable to pay their bills, feed their families, pay for education, etc. I am grateful for jobs I generally genuinly enjoy, to work with talented people, to find meaning in the work I do, and to get paid for it so I can pay my bills and provide for myself.

6. Education. This one really hits home, on a personal and professional level. Upon reflecting and making meaning to my study abroad experience in South Africa ( as well as the Virgin Islands), I have found I have a deeper passion for education. Not only for my own education ( and that I have always had an opportunity and that no one ever told me I could not), but for helping people who do not have easy access to education. Education, in my eyes, is one of the world's most powerful tools, transformationally. I remind myself that college is expensive, but there is no price tag for learning. The opportunities, experiences, and things I have learned, have made me into who I am and provide me we with a life full of meaning and purpose, as well as will one day allow me to people other's who don't.

7. Fans/ Air Conditioning. Ha Ha. Yes! I said it. After spending 5 months in a tropical climate ( without air conditioning) there is nothing better than being able to go home, turn on the air conditioning on a hot & humid day, and feel comfortable. This one is very simple, yet well stated.

And there you have it. I'm sure I could keep going, but I feel those all encompass my general gratitude in life. And to end this post with a question ( because we all know I LOVE questions)....

What are YOU grateful for?

Emily

Emptiness & Patience.

2010-07-02T21:42:00.000-07:00

"Empty spaces show up when activities stop. They show up when a relationship ends, and when a big, important project is on the horizon. Empty spaces can be scary, lonely, and sad at first. They can feel paralyzing. But when the empty spaces show up – if we let them – that is exactly when our lives get quiet enough to make room for what is next."- Jenny Blake ( www.lifeaftercollege.org)

This quote sums up what I've been feeling and experiencing this past month after both of my study abroad experiences. To this date, it has been just over a year from when I returned from South Africa, and just over a month from when I returned from the US Virgin Islands. And how do I feel? Exhilierated? Thrilled? Happy? More experienced? Yes. I feel all of those things. But do you want to know what I feel most? I feel empty and lonely.

As I continue to re-acclimate into my life post-Virgin Islands, I find myself continually having a hard time with my transition ( which I talked about in a previous blogpost titled 'Bridges') and re-entering back into life in the US. Why you ask? I continue to find myself having less and less patience with myself, friends, work ( instead of progressing, I'm regressing) and to be honest, life in general. I have good days. And I have bad days. But I'll throw a shoutout and say this past week was one of the most mentally taxing & exhausting weeks I've had in my entire life. And I ask myself, why? Was it because I was busier than I've ever been before? No. Was it because it was physically exhausting? No. Was it because I'm truly unhappy? No. Was it because I was homesick? No. What I did realize after a night of alone time to decompress my thoughts and feelings ( SOOO needed), is that I am experiencing this exhaustion because I've felt the most impatient I've ever felt in my ENTIRE life. And I've felt empty and lonely for my experiences in life off the mainland.

As cliche as this sounds, patience really is a virtue. Patience is a virtue when it comes to surrounding yourself with children, with a new job ( and you experience learning curves), when you don't fully comprehend material for a test, whatever it be......patience does not come naturally to most. I continue to struggle with find "inner patience", which translates into me becoming easily upset with "outer patience" ( EX: having patience for friends or work or the world, in general).....and this week, I snapped. I could see my lack of patience affected me mentally ( at work, with friends) and physically- I was incredibly tired.

As as the leadership minor has taught me ( what? So What? Now What)......how do I move forward and overcome this impatience barrier? I'll be genuinly honest and tell you I don't have the answer for that fantastic question. I do know that I have some awesome resources (such as friends who've struggled with re-entry and can lend an earn or a words of advice on how to deal with this) and need to be spending more alone time with myself to process these feelings and thoughts so they don't eat me alive! From now on, I have decided, that I will dedicate one day or activity to myself each week so that I can have my alone time and *hopefully* learn to develop more patience with myself and what I am experiencing.

And to leave on a positive note ( because I am a true believer in optimism), I hope everyone has a wonderful fourth of July!! And not only to celebrate the birth of our country (and all we stand for), but to celebrate YOUR independence and all of the things that make you uniquely you!

Warm Wishes,
Emily

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.

2010-06-19T11:53:00.000-07:00

"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away."- Dinah Craik

To hundreds of thousands of people out there, this weekend (specifically Sunday) marks a very important day: Father's Day! Words will NEVER do justice to one of the most important people I am incredibly grateful to have in my life-my dad.

If you feel like reading a VERY short story of who my dad is and how our relationship has blossomed into one that has allowed me to grow and expand in ways I could have never dreamed nor imagined, sit tight and start reading :)

Growing up, my mom was the breadwinner of our family and I believe that together they agreed that when they had children, one of them would stay home. Naturally, it worked out better for my dad to raise their family, and deep down, I think he had a desire too :) Before he knew it, he had five awesome (and wild or as some people call it, an organized chaos) children. I think in my dad's earlier years he was somewhat bitter that he had to put his life on hold to raise children, but because the nature of his character is incredibly resilient, he began to see a light (somewhere, NOT SURE WHERE!!) how rewarding raising a family could be. I will never forget the time he told me "Emily, when I saw you go off to school as a little girl, in kindergarten, and made friends and enjoyed school…that was the first time I felt genuinely happy after putting my life on hold.".... It makes me think and wonder (and I'm sure any of you parents out there reading this) how powerful having children is and the amount of sacrifice you do to raise your babies, kids, teenagers is. So instead of babbling on about how truly wonderful/awesome/amazing/SUPER my dad is, I have decided to make a very short list of the just a few of the stories/experiences/characteristics that make me proud to call my dad, my dad.

1. Here I go again with the quotes, but these are fabulously great ways to sum up and express how I feel...."My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person: he believed in me"~ Jim Valvano. From the time I was a young child to the present moment (as I sit here in a coffee shop studying as a college student), I have realized my dad has an incredible ability to believe. Now, I'm not going to get into personal details about the issues he has dealt with (because everyone goes through struggle, on whatever level or issue that may be), but my dad has been able to consistently believe in himself, his kids, his community, and the greater world. I will never forget the process of searching for my 'dream college' in high school and going through the competitive process of applying, being waitlisted, and finally getting accept into the University of Minnesota. There were people (and sometimes myself) who doubted I may have to rearrange my plans of attending school at the U, but my dad was with me the entire time and shared my enthusiasm and joy when I found out I was accepted. He believed. My family has been through our trial and struggle (what family hasn't??) and I believe this is because of my dad's strength and ability in believes in "us". His attitude is that deep down, somewhere or somehow, we are a family for a reason, no matter how dysfunctional, chaotic, or crazy we are. My dad believes.

2. My dad is an incredibly talented person and I never fully realized the scale of how talented he really is until I got older and more mature (and I'm sure I'll have these 'mini life revelations' about his resourcefulness and talents as I continue to grow older). My dad has not only survived, but also thrived in a community with very little room for opportunity to grow. Now, I'm not saying Ladysmith, Wisconsin is not a charming community and that there are great things about it, because there definitely are. What I am saying, is that my dad has the ability to tailor his life and just 'make it work' no matter where he is. Like I said, my dad's profession is being a stay-at home dad. Now that we are all in school and after raising all of us (and he still continues to do so), my dad has become what I like to call "A Master at Life". Here are just a few of the cool things my dad does:

-He serves and does work with a non-profit community foundation in our hometown, serving primarily as the treasurer. This foundation was newly started a few years back and its mission involves improving our community through endowments in hopes of creating an everlasting impact on Rusk County. I have had the pleasure in the past few years of watching my dad grow, professionally, as he uses all of his talents and skills volunteering his time and knowledge on being able to help this foundation grow. This is just ONE example of how he has become involved in our community.

-One of his newest hobbies is real estate. My dad has bought a couple of 'fixer uppers' in this down economy and has been able to make these his mini projects and sources of income. I think these are his pride and joy (next to his family, of course). My dad has a keen eye for being able to see the sparkle in a seemingly 'worthless' piece of property and the financial smarts to purchase and develop these little charmers. Actually, I think he saw the same ‘sparkle’ in his kids when we were young being little brats and knew one day, we would develop into grown ups who rocked at life ☺. One of his favorite projects he did this past year was planting a huge garden and orchard on one of his properties. I had the pleasure of being home the whole month of May (after studying abroad) and he got to show his baby off..... and I must say, that in about three years, that garden is going to be one of the COOLEST and literally, most fruitful, projects my dad has ever done. My dad used to garden when I was a little kid and eventually had to stop when we moved into a larger house to accommodate our growing family, and he finally gets to garden again and I think deep down, it is where he 'unplugs' from life and enjoys the simplicity of the world (the fruits of his labor).

-One of my dad's personal and professional hobbies is financial planning. My dad's education was in the accounting field and he also got his financial planning certificate pre-family, with the intention of raising a family and one day being able to professionally practice financial planning. My dad has been the money manager of our family for as long as I can remember and despite some major challenges, has allowed for our family to thrive and have countless opportunities (which will remained unnamed because there are so many). Words will never express how much I appreciate my dad for this. I may never have had the newest car or best cell phone, but I have an undergraduate education that was payed for, thanks to my dad's wise ability to start investing early in his family. When I came home this past May from studying abroad, I was driving my dad's car one day, and found a fortune saved from a dinner at Chinese that said "Don't worry about the stock market, invest in family.” My dad's abilities to invest are beyond amazing. His thoughtful choice in investment into his children and our education has payed off- he has allowed me to have the best college experience I could ask for (attending leadership conferences in Washington D.C. and Florida, studying abroad twice, the list literally goes on and on).

3.My dad has yet another incredible ability to be one of the best parents, if not BEST DAD, in the world (of course I’m sure a lot of daughters feel this way about their dad’s too!). I think until people are parents, they don't realize how mentally taxing and difficult being a parent can be, let alone be a full time dad. Although stay at home dads are becoming increasingly more common these days, I think it's biologically harder for a man to be a stay at home parent than a woman (for things such as multi tasking, having an innate ability to be more empathetic, etc.). No one gives you a manual, training, or 'this is how it works' tutorial on being a parent. It is simply trial by error. Yes, you can take workshops or read books on how to become a better parent, but that will NEVER prepare you for what you take on in raising kids. I remember I used to get really frustrated and upset with my dad when he would forget things. In retrospect, I look back, and I honestly have no clue how my dad has done it all. He has successfully taught, managed, empathized, whatever you want to call it five children- and amazingly, we are all turning out (in the words of my dad) to be "pretty damn great." Growing up, I always remember how our house was the place to be- my dad never said no to a friend coming over (in fact, he encouraged it all the time) and allowed for us to be kids- we got dirty in the mud, made mistakes and broke things, were sassy to each other and beat each other up, cried for hours on end when one of my brothers decided to ruin my barbie collection, and somehow.....my dad (and five of us plus my mom) survived. This alone, proves mentally and physically, the strength my dad has and how nurturing he really is. The memories of my childhood are awesome because of my dad.

4. Last but definitely not least, the best thing about my dad is that he is MY dad. I respect and admire my dad for being honest, genuine/authentic/sincere, compassionate towards all aspects of life, resourceful, optimistic honorable, intelligent, his sense of humor, his humble confidence, and most importantly- his ability to celebrate and honor our similarities, yet respect our differences. Many of the qualities I admire my dad for are things I am proud and honor in myself.

As I sit here and have made the difficult decision (because I know I could go on forever and ever) to wrap up probably one of the longest blog posts I’ve ever written, I find myself tearing up. How did I get so lucky to have this man, my dad, in my life? I will forever cherish what we have, past-present-and future, because without my dad, I can honestly and sincerely say I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

Happy Father’s Day to my best friend, holder of one of my most meaningful relationships, the leader I most respect, for guidance and steering me in the RIGHT direction, my own personal (and affordable) life coach, my rock and strength, someone who means more than the world to me- my dad.

And to end on a good note that thoroughly expresses what my dad has done for me, here it is:

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."…. Thanks Dad for doing just that ☺

Happy Father’s Day, Dad! I love you.

Emily

OPPORTUNITIES.

2010-06-17T06:35:00.000-07:00

“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”...

This past week I had an interview with a fabulously talented women for an internship through the Office of Student Engagement at the University of Minnesota. The internship is a requirement for my HRD ( human resource development) degree and can be thought as a 'capstone' experience to help me take what I've learned in class and apply it to a 'real life' experience before I'm off into the real world. And to my pleasure and ABSOLUTE excitement, I am pleased to announce I scored the internship!!! WOOOOO HOOOO! Time to celebrate me and how hard I've worked for all of the opportunities that come my way. Now here are the juicy details ( what exactly will I be doing??)....

Starting the fall of 2010, I will be working in the Office of Student Engagement as an HRD intern helping plan, coordinate, and implement a series of training programs/workshops through a program for student employees on campus. This program is called SELP (Student Employee Leadership Programs). This past year was the first time they piloted this program on campus and they are reevaluating it to improve and tailor it to make it even better ( SO hrd....). This is where my position comes in. I will be doing various activities such as meeting with stankeholders ( people in the office of human resources, in the U of M community, etc.) to continue the development of these programs for student employees. The coolest part about this is the amount of networking I get to do with incredibly talented people- yay! I also get to continue to grow- personally and professionally. And the icing on the cake with this internship? I get to plan and coordinate a SELP awards banquet in the spring ( the purpose of this banquet is to celebrate and honor the students employees who have successfully completed this program)....ohhhh, I am squeeling with delight and excitement! I finally get to be a REAL event planner! I am beyond floored that I was chosen for this internship and cannot wait to work with in an office on campus that has an awesome mission, purpose, and of course- wonderfully talented employees! This IS the icing on my cake for my senior year.

And the best part about all of this? It makes me even more excited for 'life after college.' I have had an incredibly rewarding college experience- I have met some wonderful friends, developed relatiosnhips with people who will forever impact my life, had a multitude of diverse experiences and opportunities, studied abroad TWICE, and have experience more challenge and growth in my life than I have EVER experience.....but it has all been worth it.

So where does this leave me? Obviously, I can't wait to start this internship; but firstly, I will 'live in the present' and enjoy my summer- work, school, friends, beautiful weather, family vacations, and exploring the 'new me'.

Cheers,
Emily

Past, Present, Future

2010-06-11T11:29:00.000-07:00

"Wherever you go, there you are."

Raise your hand if you struggle with the delicate balance between past, present, future? I sure know, I do and in fact, I'm actually a certified expert at it ( okay, just kidding). When is it appropriate to think about the past? When is it appropriate to deal with the future? And most importantly is it even okay to 'just be' in the present? I've always been fascinated and mindful of this particular subject matter, but haven't (until recently) fully realized the importance of finding the balance between all three.

If you've known me long enough, you will know one of my strengths is my ability to see things in my future ( HELLLOOO strengthsquest assessment, one of my top five strengths is futuristic). Now when I say future, I don't mean I will go all 'fortune teller' on you and explain to you how the rest of your entire life will pan out; however, I do have to say I have a pretty amazing ability to plan anything from my daily activities to planning any and every event to almost fitting EVERY genre of activity any college student would ever explore and pursue to, ultimatley, planning my entire life (my children's names, career(s), travel destinations)- to a tee. And not only am I really good at this, but I surely take pride in it and even would consider it a personal hobby- yikes!!! When did I realize this wasn't entirely normal? Let's fast forward ( ha ha, ironic huh) to fall 2010- my 1st semester of my junior year. As usual, I was doing a million things, and the topic of prescence came up in one of my leadership classes ( thank you once again, leadership minor). Well, we touched on presence, but not entirely enough- I desperately needed more. I found myself futher exploring presence- in books, in magazines, and in blogs ( life coach advice). So then, as usual, who did I turn to? I turn to my mentors and saught advice- what does PRESENCE mean to them? This is where the life lesson comes in- one of my most admired and treasured mentors, Jody, inspired me with the concept/quote of "Wherever you go, there you are." Since this encounter and discussion, I feel as if the universe is talking to me again ( HELLLLOO, because it is!!) and reminding me to 'be present'- as I sit and write this blog, right here, right NOW.

Fast forward after this particular discussion with my mentor and five months of studying through an exchange program in the Virgin Islands ( the island of presence- another story for another time), I am searching for my way to 'be present'. I know I can ask people for advice on how to be present, but truley, I will be able to practice it when I find my own way and start to explore and experience this concept.

So, I'm sure you're all asking, how are you goign to be present? Well, for starters, I'm in the process of exploring yoga. I won't even go into detail here, beacause we all konw about the power of being able to practice mindfulness and exercise at the same time. Secondly, I have used the "wherever you go, there you are" phrase as a mantra when things are chaotic/i'm trying to over-multitask/ or I'm not balancing past, present, future. Any more advice or suggestions? Ideas? ANNYYONNNE?!

SO, my question for you (readers out there!!!)- how do you "live in the now"/ "just be"/practice presence?

HAPPY WEEKEND :)

Bridges.

2010-06-05T22:33:00.000-07:00

"Find life experiences and swallow them whole. Travel. Meet many people. Go down some dead ends and explore dark alleys. Try everything. Exhaust yourself in the glorious pursuit of life."

I have been meaning to continue my blogging efforts, but life sure got in the way of it the past week or so. Where do I begin? Start? If you're ready this, you're in for a real LONG treat. But, if you have a lot of free time, I feel like it'll be worth it :)

The experience of processing a study abroad/exchange program is an entirely different concept to explain, so I'll try my best to describe what it is like. In fact, I probably won't finish describing or interpreting it in one post, so this blog might just be a continuation of it all, who knows. Anyhow, I left St. Croix, in the Virgin Islands, at the end of April FULL ON READY to be back home in the United States, Minneapolis and Ladysmith. The week before I was about to leave my life as an island girl, it hit me. I WAS LEAVING. At that very moment, I feel like I started to authentically live in the present. I appreciated every conversation with friends. I watched every sunset I could sneak in. I stopped complaing about the hassles of the Virgin Islands- the potholes, the crappy cars, the fact that there is no concept of time, some of the rude people.....and began to really enjoy the island. How convinient- right when I was about to leave. I will never forget the day I left St. Croix. I woke up at the crack of dawn and headed to breakfast with two of my amazing friends- Nikki and Casey. Our last breakfast ( the last supper) on the beach, biscuits and gravy, coffee.....and tears. As we headed for the airport, I got an entirely huge knot in my stomach- a knot of excitement, anxiousness, sadness, loneliness, you name it- I felt it. As my bags were transferred from Nikki's car to the ticket confirmation booth, tears began to roll down our faces. And then.....I became hysterical. And I didn't stop for a good hour, or more. Another chapter of my life was being closed.....and it felt like the world was coming down on me. Like they say, when it rains, it POURS. My life was a pouring hot mess. I finally got myself together in the tiny St. Croix airport ( and masked some of my emotions) and actually met a really cool couple. They were older, and were leaving their vacation on the island of St. Croix, headed back home. The woman/wife started talking to me and through our conversation, I found out that she was of course, a world traveler/enthusiast, had a daughter who taught YOGA all over the world, and was taking a trip in the next year to Kenya with her husband and a group of friends with their significant others. Now ask me this.....why did I FAIL to not take her name or number? I will never know. But this it the beauty of travel.......the people you meet ( and their stories), hands down. I believe this woman provided me with a distraction as I began to board my small 8 person plane and my feelings of sadness were replaced with anxiousness/excitedness for my flight (on the crazy plane) over the ocean to bring me back to my life on the 'mainland'.

So.....to continue on, I arrived in Minneapolis and spent a day there doing a little shopping, meeting up with friends, etc. And then- the month of May hit. And I was back in Ladysmith, Wisconsin for a WHOLE month. I will not lie- I was incredibly nervous to be living back at home for a month. Let's now fast forward a month ( June) and in retrospect, I can genuinly/ say that my month in Ladysmith was one of the best months of my ENTIRE college career, maybe even my life. I became obsessed ( ask my buddies at CEHD, they can attest to this) with being domestic- running errands for my dad, drinking coffee in the morning with my dad, picking up my siblings from school, going to Jon and Joe's baseball games, hanging out with my two best childhood buddies, Brenna and Katie......and what was the best part of this entire month? Well, one re-getting to know my family. And appreciating "our" chaos, or as my mom say's "Organized Chaos." And two, I appreciated simplicity and solitude. I for the first time in my life, felt at complete peace at home in the middle of nowhere Wisconsin. Yes, I had a fuller email inbox as I prepared to go back to my life in Minneapolis, but I had peace around me.......the woods, the river in my backyard, simple to-do lists.......life in a small town in simple ( like my dad tells me ALL THE TIME) and I finally got that. And enjoyed it. There is a reason simplicty and solitude exist. I can most definitely say they allowed me to 'unplug' from life and just be. Two things I find myself struggle with on a daily basis, continually day in and day out. My mind was clear and my heart was warmed.....family, simplicity, and solitude are awesome.

So, what happened next? Well, that's where I'm at as I write this blog post. I just finished my first week back as a resident of Minneapolis, MN. And how do I feel? Miserable. I'm actually so miserable, that I drove home to Wisconsin for the weekend (which gave me inspiration tonight to write this blog!!!) where I always go when I need a fix of comfort. What did I do this week? I worked part time in CEHD student services, took a class on administering medications for a new gig (side job) I have, caught up with a few friends, moved into my apartment, ran a HUGE amount of errands around the city, and attempted ( and failed miserably) to switch into full power/wonderwoman/normalcy in Minneapolis. But, like I have learned from experience- I used my brain and began to think about why I failed miserably. And here's what I came up with ( thanks for wonderful advice/help from one of my dearest friends, Kari as well as reading a post on one of my FAVORITE website's fro a lifecoach, lifeaftercollege.org and of course, my own experience).....transitions are NEVER easy ( even though I always assume they will be). I'll try and explain a transition using something we can all relate to- a bridge. A bridge's purpose is to connect two places- whether they be islands, pieces of land, highways, you get the jist. If there is no bridge to connect these two places- you can't get anywhere. Which, randomly, reminds me of a chapter in a book I read this fall for my leadership minor field experience class, on building bridges ( will explain later)....And you know what I FAILED to do this week? I totally skipped my bridge. I assumed that my life would go back to where it picked up/left in December of 2009. And now it's June 2010, 5 months later, and I have had yet another incredibly profound experience I failed to incorporate/process into this whole 'bridge equation'. WOOPS. I also realized that this 'bridge' process isn't going to be a short one. Sometimes, going over a bridge can be only a few minutes, sometimes it can take FOREVER ( when there is traffic, car accidents, or it's just generally a long bridge).....my bridge, if I had to guess, will probably take about a month. Or longer. Maybe even a lifetime? Additionally, I'll have to be patient. Not only patient with others, but patient with myself. I think this week, in fact, I hit a lot of traffic.....meetings, catching up with old friends ( which I am incredibly thankful/appreciate of because they were the ones who are and will be helping me cross my bridge), work, moving....etc. My rush hour lasted WAY LONGER than any rush hour I've ever experienced in Minneapolis. And the ironic/but not ironic fact about all of this bridge-ness.......is that I experiened the same thing last summer coming back from South Africa. I was miserable, sad, lonely, lost for about a month.....and slowly it got better. On a side note, when I'm lonely I don't mean this because I don't have friends or things to do......a loneliness that leave you feeling/aching in your heart for your previous experience that you just had ( such as studying abroad--the friends, the experience, the places, the food, etc.). This time around, since I'm a little bit wiser, I'm going to give myself permission to feel all of these 'un fun feelings'.......because they are a part of transitions- whether we like them or not. I''m working on being patient with myself and know that not all of my days in the next few weeks will be the normal " I LOVE LIFE/HAPPINESS DAYS" I usually have....there might be some cloudy and rainy days, too. But that is all a part of life. Most importantly, I'm going to allow myself to be OKAY with all of this. And JUST BE.

A few loose ends to tie up my post.........

A shoutout to some of my most treasured and fabulous friends that made my week 'sunny'- Kate and Laura ( for empathizing and understanding what it is like to come back from being abroad as well as good company with great sushi/seeing sex and the city 2), Michelle ( for making me dinner, making me LAUGH, and making me proud), Christen ( one of my leadership guru/mentors who always offers REAL and inspiring advice & wisdom and continually challenges me to grow in multiple capacities and facets), Casey Daddy ( my other half who got to experience life as an island girl w/ me for 5 glorious months and is my "reason, season, LIFETIME' daddy), Kari ( for moving me into my apartment, awesome hospitality skills, and never says no to 'half price apps and life chats' AND for explaining and allowing me to understand transitions), Whitney ( for always being there for me.....whether it is crying, laughing, eating weird things, fantasizing about our lives, offering advice, will be in my wedding friend)......To look on the brightside ( SOOOOO typical of me), as hard as it is being back in Minneapolis, at least I have these wonderful people to help me through my bridging =)........and one more shout out......TO ME! I saved a dove chocolate wrapper this week that said " Be your own best friend."........I think I'm going to go to a movie by myself this week ( Just Wright--the movie about a physical therapist who falls in love with an NBA star she is rehabbing after a big injury).

ONE LAST THING....I PROMISE!!!!

Tell me how IRONIC/CRAZY/WEIRD it is ( no, this was not planned) that the two movies I watched tonight at home were INVICTUS (South Africa) and am now going to cuddle up in bed with the movie UP.........

Love to all,
Emily

2010-05-09T19:32:00.001-07:00

My 'Life To Do Continued..'

5.Visit asia- Begjing & Hongkong, Thailand, Vietnam, Laos.......and volunteer in an orphanage while there.

6.Get dressed up in the appropriate attire (yes, a HUGE expensive hat and sundress) and drink gin and tonics while watching the kentucky derby

7. Visit New Zealand with all of my brothers-we have all wanted to go here......and bungee jump, surf, do the outdoorsy stuff!

8. become affluent--make sure to be able to pay for all of my children's college education & more

9. Become a speaker/writer/author life coach extrodinare!! Of course, after I am a leadership consultant, professor, event planner, etc......my dream is to write an advice/self-help blog/website, do consulting work for organizations on generation Y & leadership, coach some people, and write a book. Yep, some day I will do it....

10. Become the proud owner of a little pup- shitzu ( spelling) or miniature yorkie.....and name her Anabella OR Lucy

11. See beyonce, usher, rihanna, and chris brown in concert.....enough said!

12. Do a roadtrip all around the US--to do's: vineyards in California, hiking in New Mexico, beaching in LA, whale watching in Boston, and the list goes on...

13. Live in Washington D.C .--not forever, but for a year or so....I want to spend my weekends exploring the history of the United States :)

14. join a book club ( geeky, I know.....) so I can chat with other people and read books for a purpose....

15. Plan an RV roadtrip through Alaska and Canada for my dad.....and be his personal tour guide.

16. Adopt a child from abroad- either Africa or Asia

17. Own a yellow car...I know, I know this is weird but I love the color yellow because it's bright and happy.....maybe a VW BUG?!?!

18. Become healthier- loose 30 lbs and make healthy eating a lifestyle- not just a phase.

19. Do a 'what happens in vegas, stays in vegas' vacation with girlfriends- Next winter break with friends I've met in the Virgin Islands!!!

20. graduate college- next spring!

21. become a mentor- I've done big brothers big sisters but have had trouble with consistency with my littles moving all of the time.....I am going to apply to be a mentor for a program the U this fall....

22. go white water rafting!

23. visit costa rica and explore the jungle

I feel like there is still more to come.......stay tuned!

Oh The Places You Will Go..

2010-05-08T17:10:00.000-07:00

How many of you have a life to do list? Think about it for a minute....."I've always wanted to go....or "I'd like to go bungee jumping with friend x"......whether mental, written down, or spread to your family and friends, I think many of us have things we want to do before we die, considering we only have one life to live! Well, I've always started 'life to do lists' but never finished them as I have a tendency to get off track and forget about them-or accomplish things without congratulating myself ( celebrate celebrate celebrate!!!).....So, without further adue, here is a good start to my life to do list:

1. Go on an African Safari- DONE!!! Part of a trip that was an experience of a lifetime- ask me about it :)
2. Run a half marathon- plan to do it this fall!!! Minneapolis Twin Cities half!
3. Run a marathon
4. Visit several other places in Africa- Tanzania, Senegal, Kenya, Morrocco--and go back to South Africa...
5. Do a Europe Trip w/ girlfriends or my future husband--I think girlfriends would be more fun, don't you agree? I want to see Austria, France ( Bordeuax), Italy, Holland.....bring on all the tasty foods!!!
6. Do a 'semester at sea'--this is a study abroad program where you can go pretty much anywhere in the world for a semester at sea, literally. I wish I would have done a semester at sea in my undergraduate, but will now do it during my graduate studies OR as a crew member ( working as a traveling professor or in adminstration)....
7. study abroad--in the Virgin Islands and South Africa- DONE! Again, ask me about both :)
8. get a 4.0 at least one semester of my studies...I got a 4.0 during a summer term, but that doesn't quite count!
9. Scuba Dive in the great barrier reef in Australia
10. Purchase a vw jetta or passat or bug- I'm not looking for a brand new spanking car, but a cute used one :)
11. Get my PHD

okay.....I will continue this later because I'm off to dinner with my family- I think I'll have to get a margarita or two!

Giving.

2010-05-05T23:49:00.000-07:00

'When I give, I give myself'....taken from a very good friend of mine who has spent her semester as a university student experiencing the culture and life of Ecuador, a life changing experience it has proven to be, I'm sure!

In my attempt at failing to blog while I was in the Virgin Islands (sad, huh?!), I have decided I'm going to work and make this a routine thing. I'm not going to be the type of person who writes each and every day, but rather write a few times a week or when I have something I feel is very worthwhile and valuable to share- so here it goes!

As my title implies, the theme of this particular post will be around the spirit of giving. After returning from a significant time of my life spent away in the caribbean, I finally feel like I have something 'concrete' to translate this experience into. When I came back from South Africa, I had (and still am having) a very difficult time translating how I spent my time there and what I can do with my experience. The Virgin Islands, however, provided me with something I realized I take for granted- simplicity. I have a newfound admiration the simple things in life. This didn't hit me until I sent foot in the US, where life was faster than I have ever seen it before- and I was an island goddess running around trying to catch my flight, frantically of course. I think my time in Wisconsin for the month of may will be spent well.......when I come home for more than a weekend to visit my family in Wisconsin, I used to find myself EXTREMELY bored. However, I am 100% embracing this month to continue my rejuvination and enjoy time with my family, friends (through phone and online, of course) and the 'northwoods'. I will admit, after living in the caribbean, I have a new found respect for the 4 seasons :)

Now onto the important stuff...

Today I had an awesome conversation with my dad. To put it very briefly, everytime I am around my dad, we 'dream share' (this is a term I've coined). We talk about each other's dreams, hopes, wishes, passions, etc. which will be something I will always remember my papa for. Because my parents are in their mid-50's, they have begun to think about 'life after life'.......how the investments and inheritence will be managed, who will manage it ( out of the 5 of us), what types of things he would like to see done with the money, etc.....let's remember my dad is a financial planner.....So, my dad went more in depth to a vision he has for our family he's mentioned before, but gave me incredible details. My dad has a vision of 'giving', more so meaning leaving a significant amount of money to his children to continue investing, but also to gather around during the holidays and collectively decide as 5 siblings, an organization, cause, whatever you have it, to give to. For example, one year it could be to a nonprofit my dad gave to throughout his lifetime ( to honor his legacy) or an organization, such as JL Zwane ( see previous posts) in South Africa that I care about. Not only will this create tradition, but will allow our family to celebrate who we are, as well as something we all remember my dad for- giving.

Throughout my lifetimee ( now granted, I am only 21 years old), my dad has given, given, and given. He has dedicated his life to his family- giving his time and love to his 5 children and wife , giving his time to our commnity where he is heavily involved, giving his financial wisdom to those he cares about, and will continue to do so. I have always wondered where my spirit and passion for giving has come from? Well folks, I finally have the answer- my dad. Yet another thing I can thank him for.

This past week at home has absolutly been a blessing in disguise- I have NEVER been this happy at home. Now if you know me well enough, you know I belong in the world's most positive or optimistic people, and can always see things on the bright side. Well, I found an even happier place and time- right now! I am more euphoric than I have been in a long time. And I have finally realized why I feel these feelings- I am giving. I am giving my time to my dad to listen and spend time with him, I am giving my time to go outside and play baseball with my brothers, I am giving my time keeping in touch with my friends around the country, I am giving my time to an evening spent with great friends in Minneapolis. I am happy because I am giving.

As I think about and figuratively 'digest' my experiences in the Virgin Islands, I realize my purpose was to give. Give my heart, friendship, advice, and self to whoever came along and allowed me to open up to them. And out of this, I made some wonderful friends who I can continue to give myself to for the rest of my life. All experience is valuable- whether good or bad- and as long as you choose to look at it in a positive note, one will benefit. So with that note, I challenge you to give- volunteer for a few hours at an organization you are interested in, give your time to an old neighbor you have been meaning to visit but just haven't gotten the time to do so, even doing something small as giving a smile to a strangeron the street will do; because in doing these things- you give yourself, a gift that is totally unique!

Warm Wishes,

Emily

Change.

2009-12-22T09:59:00.000-08:00

Hello All!

The fall semester of my junior year is completed- all to-do lists thrown away, last minute coffee dates finished, and all that I have been busy doing this semester is finally OVER!!! I have balanced more than I ever could have imagined this semester- working 2 part time student jobs ( in the CEHD student services office, as well as TA-ing for an Intro. to Public Speaking class, volunteering, 18 credits, lots of different areas of work through the leadership minor, among many other things...) and I have to say I feel quite accomplished! It turned out to be one of the best semesters of my life- and now I am on to bigger and better things!!!

I am in Minneapolis until December 22nd, leave to go home to Wisconsin December 23rd- and depart for the US Virgin Islands January 5th!! CRAZY how time flies. So many things to do, people yet to see, planning and organizing, you name it- I'll be doing it!

I have mixed feelings about what I'm going to be experiencing- incredibly appreciative for being able to do something like this ( again, the opportunities you have in college) and CANNOT wait to meet new people and experience another area of the world; however, it really just fully dawned on me that I'm leaving something behind that I absolutly LOVE- Minneapolis, more specifically, the University of Minnesota. But as many have reminded me, the U of M will still be here when I return- my experience in the Virgin Islands won't. Additionally, as many know, change is inevitable, yet difficult. And what's even more difficult, is anticipating the change. However, I have recognized that some of the most difficult, yet most rewarding and best experiences of my life, have been introduced through large amounts of change. With that being said, let the packing of suitcases, running around for last minute errands/appointments, and preparing myself for the semester of a lifetime begin!!

Warmest Wishes,
Emily

2009-08-15T18:24:00.001-07:00

I feel that this blog has come to an end and needs to be closed, but I feel a deep desire to continue it. As my summer is coming to an end, I have finally begin to realize some of the most important lessons my time in South Africa taught me, as well as how this trip has affected me immensely, both personally and profesionally.

One of the biggest lessons my time in South Africa taught me is that I have learned to appreciate who I am and what I have, more specifically my lifestyle. I have come to realize ( and did realize this prior to my trip, but didn't fully "practice" it before) that things will never make a person happy. What makes "me" happy is that I am surrounded with good company ( friends, family, co-workers, people, you get it...), that I have the desire/ability to travel, opportunities, an education, and the ability to give ( give to me means that I can give "me", Emily, the person I am and what I stand for)....I think the most prominent at this point would be education. Through South Africa, I realized my passion is education. I have taken my education for granted all of my life....I have always had the ability to pursue an education and all that it entails. It was not made entirely clear to me until being in South Africa, that some people will NEVER have the ability to pursue an education, let alone have any. Education is incredibly powerful and has enriched my life ( as it will continue to) in many ways I cannot explain. My biggest professional dream for the future is to be able to teach others the value of education- whether it be college students, friends, people I come across, etc. And because I am fortunate to be in a position to give, I want to use my talent and strengths in giving those a memorable experience in education. I want to be able to travel the world and give those who do not have an education, the opportunity at having one. Each day I am reminded at what my education has done for me.....it has shown me the world. I am forever appreciative of what my college education has given and taught me. The opportunities have been endless.

In addition to all of these, South Africa, specifically my time in Gugs, opened my eyes to the power of forgiveness. There have been many times in my life where I feel bitter towards people or certain relationships. Why did a certain friend take advantage of me? How come I was put into this situation? Why did this happen to me? After spending a week ( and this may seem like an incredibly short amount of time) with people in the township of Guguletu, my eyes and heart were awakened to some of the most forgiving people I have EVER met. To shorten this story (because I could go on forever), the people of South Africa face incredible challenges. They have had a very rough history in regards to Apartheid, are statistically living with the world's higest HIV/AIDS rate, extreme amount of poverty, etc. However, many of the people I met, have set aside these trajic facts and have opened their arms and hearts to forgiveness. Despite the odds, they are bound and deteremined to forgive. Forgive those who caused them pain, anxiety, many times lives of people they loved. This, alone, has reminded me to forgive anyone and everyone. It has reminded me to forgive myself when I make mistakes. Why waste time being bitter and disliking people or things when you cannot change them? Instead, be grateful for the good in life. Being able to forgive because life will improve drastically.

Despite spending one of the saddest weeks of my entire life in South Africa, as well as the emotional rollercoaster I I felt while spending my time in South Africa, I realized how incredibly hopeful and positive some of the people is what kept me emotionally alive. These leaders. True leaders. Leaders that are INCREDIBLE- their hope and positive outlook for the future of improve for their country has been one of the most inspiring lessons I have come across. How did I stumble upon this life-changing experience? Why me? Was this part of my mission? Is this part of my journey? Absolutly. I believe everything happens for a reason. South Africa was intentional.

This experience has truly given me the power to act upon what I saw, felt, was moved by, met, etc. I will pursue education, professionally. I will give back. I will continue my travels. I will volunteer for an extended time abroad. I will continue my leadership journey. I will force myself out of my comfort zone and expand my thoughts and ideas. Most importantly, I will be FOREVER grateful for an experience that has truly "given" me the world.

The best experience of my life

2009-06-27T21:33:00.000-07:00

So, I have been “officially” been transitioned back into my life at home in Minneapolis after spending a month in South Africa. I am back to my normal routines- working full time at my student services job on campus, getting iced coffee’s at Starbucks, hanging out with friends, working out at my gym- and It definitely doesn’t feel weird anymore. The first few nights back from South Africa in Minneapolis were weird. I got home back to my apartment, emotionally exhausted and physically exhausted. I only got to see my family for a little bit so that probably didn’t help either. I was overwhelmed with questions, phone calls, facebook posts, etc. about how my trip was and to be honest, the last thing I wanted to do was talk about my trip because I still felt like I didn’t know what to think or feel. But to my biggest surprise, I was upset and sad that I was at home. I was excited to come back to the US when I was in South Africa towards the end of the trip because I was getting sick of having such long days and not having “comforts” conveniently located where I wanted them. I hadn’t slept on the plane rides at all really because I had to sit in the middle of snoring men and crying babies, fun! I thought the first thing I would want to do was go to sleep when I got back, but instead I sat up all night ( literally) thinking about my trip. I could NOT go to sleep. I feel like it was my first full time to really “process” what I experienced. I thought about the people I met, the places I visited, and realized that my time in Guguletu was the best week of my life. I had also realized that I had fallen in love with a culture different from my own and that I want to travel more. Not just to a few destinations, but the world. I want to see and experience other cultures, peoples, and communities and have different traveling experiences, because of what I have seen that travel teaches. Travel has taught me to appreciate myself, my home community, my comforts. Travel has also taught me that even though I can be across the world, I can also adjust and be comfortable in different surroundings and with different people. In my opinion, there is just something incredibly exhilarating about waking up in a different country and I’m sure a lot of people can relate to that.

I’m also rereading Kevin Winge’s book, Never Give Up. I would highly recommend those of you who went on this trip to do the same and for anyone who hasn’t read it, buy a copy and read it!!! It gives a great glimpse into South Africa and township life and all of the proceeds go towards JL Zwane. I’m actually just going to buy both of my parents copies and give them to them when I go home next. It is SO neat to reread this book and when the author talks about the things he saw, I cannot believe I have been there. I also understand what he is talking about more because now I can paint mental pictures of what he is talking about because I got to see these things. Wow!!

This past week was very difficult for me, as far as thinking and processing my trip. I found myself become sad during all parts of the day. Someone would say something or do something that reminded me of my trip and I wanted nothing more than to turn and relate to someone who had experienced South Africa. I saw new pictures being posted on facebook with the faces of the people who inspired and impacted me and I wanted nothing more than to hug them and spend my evenings feasting and dancing the night away. Someone would ask me about my trip and I wasn’t sure how to respond. I felt frusterated when people would complain about the hot weather, not having money to go shopping ( but really having money), or having to work ( at least you’re employed!!)……and I even found myself complaining a little too. At times, I wanted nothing more than to go on a rant on how good that person had it in comparison to the people I met across the world, but obviously that wouldn’t be exactly appropriate, nor would it be my time or place to judge. I also found myself constantly rethinking a future career path. Was I in the right place? Am I headed down the right path? Is there another option I should maybe explore because I might find a hidden talent or passion? I have questioned myself daily about this. Will I be able to make enough of a difference in what I want to do?

So, overall, I have realized how much my experiences in South Africa impacted me. I want to do something and I want to be able to help, no matter how big or little. I still haven’t fully decided what I want to do on a personal level, but assure you I will follow through because I don’t want to let myself down. It would be too much of a tradgedy to not use my experiences in South Africa to create change, no matter how big or little they are, because I know it will make my life more meaningful ( and you all know I am constantly searching of ways to improve J). I will probably continue blogging when I decide what this is going to be…. But I also know that I will go back. I would LOVE to revisit South Africa within the next couple of years and explore more of Africa. Not only would I like to visit, but would even more so participate in some sort of volunteer work for an extended period of time. If 3 weeks has a significant impact on my life, I can just imageine how much several months would. I want to reconnect with the people who shared their hearts, stories, homes, and most of all their country with me.

I also want to make note of some of the highlights of my trip and what I will never forget. A lot of people have been asking me what my “favorite” part of the trip was and to be honest, I can not narrow it down to one. Some are more memorable than others, though and I figure I will post them so you can all see what I am trying to describe…the first set are my favorite memories/moments/places during my “tourist” part of the trip. The second set is from my week spent in Guguletu.

Visiting the Cape of Good Hope. This is an area of South Africa that is the “most southern” tip of the continent of Africa. Something about the name of this area just inspired me! J I really enjoyed this area because it was absolutely breathtaking ( as far as scenary), but it was the first time on the trip I feel like I got some good exercise ( something I had been really missing!). We climbed up a walking path made out of stone to the top of the moutain area where there was a lighthouse and you could overlook the ocean. It was just one of those moments where you would have never imagined yourself seeing or experiencing something like so.
The beach. We had a Sunday off where nothing was schedule and we could do whatever we wanted. Amanda, Emily T., Christen, and I went to a beach in the suburbs of Capetown, about 45 minutes from the Mowbray/Raundabasch area. It was a colder day, so we obviously couldn’t swim, but just spent a good amount of time having a picnic on the beach and walking the beach. I felt like it was the first time on the trip that I really sort of had to myself, which was refreshing. I needed some alone time and I got just the perfect amount of that walking along the beach. The beach was also absolutely breathtaking….situated along some mountains. We later revisited that beach as a whole group on one of our last days in South Africa.
THE SAFARI!!! From the time I was a young child, I remember myself dreaming of going on a safari and how cool it would be. I loved animals, more in particular, WILD animals. The safari wasn’t what I imagined it though. It was a very windy/cold day, so we all bundled up ( with what warm clothes we had! Haha) and spent our morning and afternoon in a jeep exploring the “african” wilderness…..We saw giraffes, lions, cheetahs, rhinos, zebras ( my personal favorite, I think), and several types of deer-like animals. We also had lunch at the place we went on the safari and it was delicious!

Hands down the best memory I had in Gugs was getting to know Johanna ( and I journaled/blogged about her earlier). Just for the reminder, Johanna calls herself a social worker and volunteers for JL Zwane. She spends her days bringing meals and sharing her company with people in the township who need someone to visit with. She has her regular visits- such as the orphan and brother we met and a couple of other families- and sure just seems to know everyone. I admire Johanna to an amount that is undescriable. She is extrememly giving, friendly, compassionate, sweet, and forgiving. For having so little, Johanna’s is one of the happiest people I have ever met. What I was able to take away from getting to know Johanna are some of the most important lessons I feel I will ever learn ( and I’ll keep them to myself for now J). This is where there will not be a closed door in regards to South Africa…..I think of Johanna a lot and would love to revisit her someday.
The food and evenings we spent with our host families. Each evening, after we were done at JL Zwane, all of the students and the host families would get together at a particular scheduled host families’ home and have dinner. And this was not an ordinary dinner, trust me. It was literally a Thanksgiving feast for 5 nights straight!! We always had several types of meats, vegetables, pap, and of course coke/fanta! My favorite part about the way we spent these evenings was the good food and good company. Not only did we get to talk to eachother, but we got to know eachother’s host families. A couple of the evenings, we also listend to music and danced ( and I loveeeeee to dance!!). They would play music and taught us what we would know as the electric slide. During these evenings, there were lots of laughs and so much fun. I remember ( for a moment in time) at our last get together we were all dancing, singing, laughing, and enjoying life and I stepped ( to look back on the balcony, in leadership terms) back for a moment and the room was like a scene out of a movie. I can’t forget to mention how great of hospitality these families provided for us. They were incredibly gracious and definitely knew how to entertain!!
The children. I have realized that this is where a lot of my person passion lies for this trip….the kids. I was both saddened and touched by the children of Guguletu- from the kids at the Rainbow After School Program, Priscilla’s children that are orphans, the children at the disability daycare, and children that ran around on the streets. Everytime, I saw a child, my heart was tugged at ( for a better lack of words). I sometimes think it was more exciting for me each and every time, than it was for the children when we would approach them, introduce ourselves, hand out Dum-Dum suckers ( thanks for that Ben….such a good idea!!), and take pictures and then show them their faces. I bet some of some children had never even seen themselves in a picture before and the excitement on their faces when they did is so unexplainable. The irony of their lives is what struck me the most. These children grow up in extremely difficult situations ( in comparison to what I have or other Americans). Some of them have no education ( if they cannot afford to or because they cannot afford uniforms) and if they do, there is little chance that college can become a reality, many of them have been orphaned because their parents have died from HIV/AIDS, there lives are in general very unstable because they are passed around from family to family throughout their lifetime, they go to bed hungry, their living conditions are very uncomfortable in their small shacks, and the list could go on and on. The irony of the situation is that these children seem to be the happiest of all children I have ever seen. I was truly inspired by their energy and zest for life- something a lot of people struggle to find on a daily basis. Additionally, during one of our last days in Capetown, when we had our Braii ( South African barbeque), the interstudy director, Ouma, brought her two children. She had a daughter who is about 10? And her son is 3. We spent a majority of the evening running around with these two….they were great! I loved Ouma’s daughter’s attitude. She had attitude like no other and was such a diva. I couldn’t stop laughing!

I also had a great conversation this past week at work with one of the academic advisors I work with. He has lived and spent a good amount of time in Capetown because he has extended family living there. In addition to working at the university, he also is a DJ and does tours in South Africa during winter breaks to DJ at clubs there. It was so refreshing and helpful to have someone to talk there who has seen and experience South Africa. When he is there, he spends his time working/volunteering at an organization ( I’ll ask him again what it’s called so I can post a link for those of you who want to check it out) where his job is to basically be a social worker and reconnect families together who have been separated. These families are usually separated because of parents fighting, parents not being able to provide for their children, or because there has been rape/incest within the family ( all incredibly sad). He also has a person friend living there who has a daughter who is now 17 and he has been paying her education since she was 5 ( something I thought is SO neat because he has chosen to do this all on his own). We talked a lot about South Africa and his passion for helping people. He plans to move there for an extended period of time in the next two years and live there. Additionally, another academic advisor went to South Africa to do a sight visit for a week just before I went abroad and we ended talking about our experiences. I got around to reflecting upon how grateful I am to be working where I am. I have a job that I love and am able to make a difference in student lives….the team of academic advisors I work with care SO MUCH about the students they advise, as well as do my bosses….I also want to mention that I have a good friend from highschool going to Tanzania this July for a month for study abroad and I am so excited for him! I think these are all subtle signs that I didn’t get enough time in Africa and that I need to go back.

I think one of the biggest takeaway’s I have gotten out of this trip is that there is a bigger world out there ready for me to explore. From small town Wisconsin to big city Minnesota to Capetown, South Africa has been an interesting dynamic. I will never be able to replicate or fully experience the things I did while on my, nor the people I have met. If study abroad taught me so much in three weeks, I cannot imagine what possibilities are out there for future travels. I am excited to be studying abroad again in the Spring of 2010 in the Virgin Islands and have decided that I will be getting involved in some sort of volunteer work while I am there (because it will make it that much more enjoyable and meaningful). Beyond these experiences, I hope to be able to visit more of Africa, China, Australia, And Europe ( let’s set a deadline and do all of these by the time I am 30!!!). So, if you ask me, how is South Africa, I think I will tell you that you need to experience it yourself. There will never be words that will best or fully describe/illustrate what I experienced. Thanks for reading my blog and getting a glimpse into my journey. Don’t forget to look for my new blog next spring when I spend a semester in the Virgin Islands!

2009-06-22T20:41:00.001-07:00

6/11/09

We had a nice free day today to relax and do whatever we wanted- we slept in, went to the beach, and then back to Guguletu to see the progress on Priscilla’s house. If I haven’t mentioned Priscilla yet, I will tell her story. Priscilla is a middle-aged woman (about 50??) who is raising her own grandchildren and out of the goodness of her heart, she has an informal orphanage set up in her house. Her house is small- a living room, very small kitchen ( Smaller than Nicki’s office at TLC for those of you from TLC who are reading!!), one bathroom ( with no warm water may I add), and two small bedrooms. Priscsilla has 11? Children in total, and receives no money from the government to raise these children. Priscilla scrapes up money to feed, cloth, and give these children a home to live in. A majority of the children are orphans because their parents and relatives have passed away from HIV/AIDS. The group of students from the U of M that came to South Africa were so inspired by Priscilla’s story that they raised over $8,000 to be used towards fixing her home and providing better space for these children. Christen and a few of us students went to visit Edwin and see the progress on Priscilla’s house. Driving back into Guguletu was almost surreal. I will admit, I wasn’t all that looking forward to driving back into Guguletu because of what it entailed. Once we got to Priscilla’s home, I was again greeted by smiles, hugs, and eager children glaring up at me and for a moment in that time, my heart hurt. My heart ached with empathy for these children (even though they weren’t in any pain), but for what their lives are like. However, their smiles were contagious. Another moment I will never forget because it was that moment I knew that I would be back in South Africa one day.

Tonight we are having an authentic South African “Braii” ( spelling). The interstudy faculty, Ouma and NJ, are coming, too. A braii is basically a barbeque to celebrate something, and we are celebrating our last days in Cape Town. I have mixed feelings..I am excited to go home to see my family, friends, and have comforts again. I am also sad because this has been one of the best experiences of my life. I am going to miss South Africa’s beauty- the beauty of not only the physical landscapes (mountains, ocean, animals,), but the people of Guguletu and their beautiful personalities- they are incredibly unique. It is truly bittersweet.

6/12/09

I still find it surreal that I have been living in a different area of the world for 3 weeks. Not many people can say they picked up their belongings and headed to a different country across the world to study, even if studying abroad has emerged because of globalization. And not only did I get to study, but I got to study something I am passionate about. I would not trade anything in the world for this experience. This experience has taught me that being pushed out of my comfort zone is important. This experience has taught me that an important tool for learning is being able to listen to others, learn from their stories, and incorporate into what you already know. This experience has given me the opportunity to become friends with 10 leaders who are determined to follow their passions and make a difference. This experience has given me the chance to see the world in a different light (and that isn’t always easy when I am at home). Mostly, this experience has helped me reflect upon my own personal leadership and how I can not only further my leadership skills, but improve them as well. I have learned and truly believe that we exist because of our relationships and communities, better known as the concept of Ubuntu ( Yes, this is cliché, but I’ll say it anyways!!).

Love.

2009-06-22T20:39:00.000-07:00

6/7/09

Being in Capetown has really made me reflect upon the privileges I have had growing up. How many people can say they spent a month in a different area of the world to study? Yes, it is common, but I know plenty of people who would have never dared venture out of their comfort zones, and that is totally fine. Because I have grown up in an upper middle-class families, I was “automatically” granted with many valuables: toys and clothes that were replaced often, numerous family vacations, grown up knowing I would go to college, attending college, and will one day have a career, a home, a new car, vacations, etc. To put it in simple terms, I have never been underprivileged. I have also gotten these things relatively easily. I’m not saying that I am not hard working, because I am, however; because of my socio economic status and skin color (statistically speaking), I have it good. Now let’s look at families, more specifically children in Guguletu. These children are highly underprivileged- there aren’t toys, nor are there new clothes that come in when school starts or when the family makes a trip to the mall, but instead these children are lucky if they have a couple of ratty outfits to be washed daily, there is no vision or guidance on college or what it even is, survival is more important and even if they did want to go to college or had the dream it is extremely hard to find the finances to do so, the unemployment rate is incredibly high- around 70% in Guguletu so jobs are far and few, and homes consist of tin shacks and cars in many families are nonexistent. Because of their socio economic status and race (due to Apartheid and the after effects), this lifestyle is cyclical and incredibly depressing to me. And it is not fair. It has been about 5 days since Guguletu and I am back in my comfortable “Capetown” surroundings- hot water and showers, conveniences that I am getting used to (suck as Pick n’ Pay, which is a chain of South African grocery stores), etc. and it almost feelings like I have lived two lives. I feel unauthentic.

I think one of the biggest things I will take away from this trip is the importance of honoring myself and what I value the most in my life. And in return, using that as fuel to help others and make a difference. I sometimes struggle with congruence in what my values are and what I actually do and I have realized I need to commit myself to more of that congruence. I have realized that my genuine concern for others has somewhat spiraled out of control in certain areas of my life or relationships and it has immensely affected me in the sense that I am pouring my heart and genuine efforts into areas that could be used as fuel in more important things in my life, such as volunteering, mentoring, taking time for myself, etc. And it has been brought to my attention because I have been relatively unstressed this WHOLE trip and I have realized how much dead weight some relationships can add to your life.

One of the best memories I will take away from this trip is the warmth, hospitality, acceptance, and love we were shown in Guguletu. On a daily basis, my host mama called me “my sweet angel” and hugged me as I left for class. These people not only shared their homes with stranger, bur shared their hearts and their wisdom and that is something unique to this area of the world. I already miss it. One of the host mamas and I ended up having a conversation about how good hugs and kisses feel and that no one hugs and kisses enough. Hugging someone can brighten their day and make them feel wanted and appreciated which is something everyone has the right to feel. It baffles me that these people have very little, yet happiness is apparent. Is it because they no know different? Or because it is something they cannot buy, but have the ability to have? Happiness is a PRECIOUS, precious gift and something I highly value. I have met people who are unhappy and have many things one would think make them happy and it makes me proud to feel and know that I have happiness and it is something no one can take away from me.

Today at the waterfront in Capetown (which is an area on the ocean, upper scale) I bought a toe ring. Whenever I travel somewhere different, I try to buy a ring to symbolize and remember my experiences. The ring I bought in South Africa is probably the most meaningful ring I have bought thus far. It is sterling silver and in the middle has a circle of lines that are intertwined. It symbolizes all of the connections I have made here and emotions I have felt- hope, love, empathy, sadness, and passion.

One of my biggest fears about this experience and particular trip to this area of the world, South Africa, is that over time, I will forget. I will forget the memories, the opportunities, the experiences, the people, and the meaning of why I came here in the first place. I fear I will go home to Minneapolis and slide back into my normal life and forget the things I felt and experienced on this trip. I fear I will forget the faces, the people, the disparity of wealth that is so abundantly apparent, the unique leaders and people I have been blessed to share this trip with, the host mamas, the children of Guguletu, the city and it’s beautiful landscapes, the lack of time keeping, and many, many more things that I could list. My question is “now what” and how do I prevent this from happening? I know I want to do something whether it is direct or indirect with Guguletu, but I want to make a difference somewhere. That is the hardest thing about this trip, is how to articulate “now what” and I think I will struggle with this for quite a while.

6/10/09

Today we had class at UCT and reflected upon a lot of the concepts we learned in our first 1000 level leadership course- the social change model made up of the individual, community, and then group. As I got to thinking, I realized that I feel as if I am still at an individual level, which is somewhat frustrating especially after taking 2 leadership courses and soon to be 3. Maybe my time here just has not sunk in yet.

Memories from the first week of Capetown

2009-06-22T20:20:00.002-07:00

Since I haven’t blogged the last few days, I am going to recap what we have done and seen the past several days.

One thing I want to start for my blogs and continue to do throughout my experience is listing things I am grateful/appreciative of. So here it goes:

1. The natural beauty of South Africa and being able to experience it.

2. Getting to know ten of the most wonderful people who are experiencing South Africa with me. I enjoy learning their life stories and who they are as leaders.

3. That I am able to bring smiles and joy to the people who surround me :)

4. A WARM, dry bed ( for those of you in South Africa).

5. COFFEE!!!

6. People who are passionate and care about the world they live in.

7. The ability and courage to have an interest in exploring different cultures.

Wednesday- On Wednesday morning, we spent our time at UCT

with the entire group and Christen (our instructor) and her husband Mark

(University of CapeTown) at our first lecture, where a professor of political science spoke on Apartheid and the history of South Africa, which was incredibly intriguing and interesting. His name was Zwelethu, and there is rumor that he may be appointed to the new president of South Africa’s cabinet (just a little neat fact). Our classroom overlooked the mountains, which was a beautiful place to be learning. To note an interesting fact, Zwelethu mentioned there is an “AIDS” industry throughout South Africa, meaning there are a slew of jobs to be pursued within this industry whether it be consulting, counseling, resource centers, policy, etc. We then headed to a place called Café Sofia that had pretty Americanized food and ate lunch. We spent our afternoon at a museum dedicated to District 6. District 6 was a neighborhood in CapeTown with primary black residents who were kicked out of their neighborhood during Apartheid and the government demolished their living quarters. It is a prime living area because of it’s relocation- it is near table mountain, downtown, the ocean, etc. Later on we went to Green Market Square, which was a tradition African market with lots of vendors. I bought some things for friends, families and myself and even landed a few deals by negotiating/bargaining (that’s for you Dad!).

Thursday- our entire day centered on typical tourism. We spent our day traveling surrounding CapeTown doing various things. We took a coach bus and headed to “seal” Island….we took a ferry out on the ocean to see a beautiful area where many seals are located near the mountains. It ended up raining and was quite rough on the ocean, however I kind of enjoyed the weather. We then went to see a penguin reserve/colony which was a boardwalk that went through the Oceanside park of South African penguins, where were entirely adorable! Who knew creatures could be so fascinating? We spent our afternoon visiting Capepoint and the Cape of Good Hope. Capepoint was an area nestled on the ocean with giant boulders looking into the ocean….very scenic and beautiful. My favorite part of this day was getting to see the Cape of Good Hope. The Cape of Good Hope is an area near Capetown, which is the most southern tip of the entire continent of Africa. It is up a mountain, probably about a half of a mile walk up on cobblestone and when you reach the top, there is a lighthouse and it overlooks the Atlantic and Indian oceans. After hiking up the path and finally being at the point, I was immensely amazed and will be one of those moments I will never forget- a moment that summed my entire experiences thus far in South Africa. South Africa is one of the most physically beautiful places I’ve ever been to.

Friday- Today we had an informal discussion at UCT with our instructor, Christen, and the other leadership students. We reflected upon our experiences thus far and how we feel about South Africa up to this point. We also touched on what we will be experiencing in the coming week where we will be living in Guguletu- a village outside of CapeTown that is stricken by an immense amount of poverty. This village was created during Apartheid that where people where separated by their race. Our agenda had us going to Robbin Island (where Nelson Mandela was imprisoned) for the afternoon, however the weather didn’t permit us to go. Our trip to the island was moved up to our third week when we are back in Capetown.

My Experiences-

One of the most frustrating things that has been overly

apparent to me throughout my trip thus far, is my confusion associated with my

reason or passion for being here. I will be the first to admit that I am rather impatient when a question of thoughts are unanswered. I have always trusted my gut instinct and I know I would be on this trip for a reason, something inside of me told me that it would not only be life changing, but also give me an answer to something I desired to seek out. Personally, questions and thoughts are answered when I am aware and listening to the world around me. However, it has been difficult for me to do so on this trip because I have spent a majority of my time taking in my experiences and not knowing how to interpret or categorize them. I feel that part of this is because I am somewhere unfamiliar, as well as experiencing things I have never experienced before. A part of not being able to articulate or find my passion for being here is because I am still in a relatively comfortable environment, and when I spend my next week in a very challenging and uncomfortable environment, I will be able to better articulate and express my reason for participating in this experience. I am still waiting and looking….

Getting to spend time and known the 9 other students on this trip has been very rewarding, and I feel I have gotten to know them to an extent that would be impossible in many other situations because of the context and mission of this trip. We have built a community that will have a lasting impact on my life and when reflecting upon my experiences, I know these people will enrich what I have felt and seen. Being around leaders who similar to me provides a blanket of security, but challenges me because when getting to know these people, they are all incredibly different. I am very, very grateful for these people and look forward to what I will learn from them in the following 2 weeks while in South Africa.

I miss home a little bit…..I miss my dad, my brothers, and being around the comforts of home during the summer time. When I go back to Minneapolis after this trip, it will be my first summer away from home, and I have mixed feeling on this; although, overall it is bittersweet. The thing I miss most about home is watching others grow, particularly my brothers. When I return to the US, I am excited to go home and spend a few days around my family. I am appreciative to have family who support me in my journey, values, experiences, and decisions (for the most part).

During our class discussion, Christen asked us what we thought/felt the reason for spending our first week doing touristy stuff in CapeTown and then spending a week in a village was intended for. Previous to this question, I reflected upon this thought for a long time. Was this set up intentionally or was it “just because?” However, I believe there is intention in this and it is because we will gain the most out of our trip and see different aspects of beauty. To further illustrate, I believe the beauty in CapeTown versus the beauty in townships are polar opposites. Capetown is “physically” beautiful- very scenic, beautiful historical sights, etc. On the extreme end, you have townships surrounding Captown that are literally shacks and the people of those townships are incredibly poor and live off of little- however, community is highly valued which translates into people who are internally beautiful. A quote from our interstudy leader “NJ” ( to maybe further illustrate this concept?) is that South Africa is a “third world country with the feautures of a first world country.” Overall, I am very excited for the upcoming week and what we will be able to experience in our “service” aspect of the trip in Guguletu. I am surprised that I am not nervous or apprehensive for this part of the trip, which seems to be a feeling among many of the other students. I feel the reason being is because one of my best qualities, as a person and leader, is being able to adapt and make the best of any situation. I feel that although I will potentionally be very uncomfortable, I will be able to walk out of this experiernce more appreciative, grateful, and inspired than I have ever been. This is the sole reason I am looking forward to this part.

I am off…….tonight we are going out for dinner and then out for drinks……Saturday is a full day of a safari!!! ( for those of you who know I have been looking forward to this part for so long!)…..More to come J

Memories of Guglethu

2009-06-08T13:44:00.000-07:00

5/31/2009

I woke up this morning and prepared myself and my belongings for a week long homestead in the township of Guguletu, which is just outside of Capetown. It was about a 15 minute drive from where we are staying in Mobwray. Immediately upon arrival I was opened up to the extreme physical appearance in the disparity of wealth- Instead of “homes”, the streets were closely lined and crowded with literal shacks- sheets of tin or warped boards and a tin roof in a space just big enough to be a standard bathroom in a home in the United States. I couldn’t believe that families lived in these- sometimes even 10 or 12 people. There was trash throughout these streets, with scruffy dogs digging through the piles to find something to eat. This was an image I will never forget- I felt almost that it was unrealistic and that it was a scene from a picture or movie. We then arrived at the church/community center called “JL Zwane.” JL Zwane is a community center/church that provides church services, community activities, HIV/AIDS support groups, the “Rainbow” after school program (which I will later explain), an orphan program, and delivers food parcels to those in need, etc. When we entered the community center and got settled for the church service, we were greeted by hundreds of smiles and hugs, grace, thanks, etc. It was amazing to see how big these people’s hearts were for these strangers ( us) who had come across the world to learn and experience South Africa, specifically the township of Guguletu.

After mingling before the church service we went to sit and observe/participate in an authentic JL Zwane church service. I had mixed feelings about what I was going to experience because of my feelings/thoughts toward organized religion. However, the service ended up being beautiful. Throughout the entire service, the choir/members of the church sang quite frequently and I have honestly never heard such beautiful song/worship and powerful voices were entirely moving. It gave me chills up and down my back and that moment will forever be remembered. It was a gentle reminder how music and singing can influence your feelings and emotions.

I would also like to talk a little bit about what JL Zwane looks like. It was recently remodeled within the past 10 years, so it is relatively modern. The walls are painted in rich tones and colores- purples, yellows, oranges, blues. Scattered throughout the center walls are phrases and sayings relating to love, faith, hope, religion, etc. My favorite phrase on the wall in the main gathering area is “ Live simply, love extravangantly.” There are several break out rooms, the area where the church services are, a main gathering area, bathrooms, a couple of offices, a kitchen, etc. There is also a place in the front where you meet and greet that has modern looking “space” like chairs that are SO comfortable.

One of the first people we conversed with was Mel, a chaplain who is in the army who is spending a couple of years doing her degree in Guguletu. Mel is 27 years old and is originally from Florida. She introduced us to the center and shared her kind words with us. After further getting to know her, I realized how mature and wise she was for being so young. She was an incredibly effective communicator and offered great advice to what we were about/ were experiencing in Guguletu.
So far, I feel very safe and comfortable in my homestay. After our church services and talking to various people, we met our “host” families and our house mamas ( as they refer them to). My house mama is Titi, and she is a middle-aged single mother who teaches in Guguletu. Titi has one daughter in college ( who is studying economics) and her name is Mumella. After getting to know Titi a little bit, I realized she was very reserved and somewhat quiet/shy, but she has such a kind heart. I was hoping for someone more open and lively, however I am grateful to have a nice home and comfortable atmosphere to stay.

I am still unsure of how to process and reflect upon my experiences thus far. I wonder when will it hit me? When will it change me? When will the light bulb go off? It is frusterating and I feel an overwhelming amount of anxiety pertaining to these thoughts. I am used to being able to express my feelings with ease through words and communicate to myself how I feel, but I am at a loss of words and feelings. Does this mean I am not challenging myself enough? Do I need to push myself outside of my comfort zone? Or is this how I naturally react upon a situation such as this ( since I have never really experienced this before)? It makes me want to give up and not feel, but I obviously can’t do that.

To end the evening, I am going to make a list of things I am grateful for:

1.) A giving/gracious host mama and daughter who have made me feel at home, safe, and comfortable
2.) Getting to experience and hear the singing today at the church service

6/1/2009

Today I delt with many feelings, mostly a mixture of denial and distance as a way of coping with the hardships I have seen. We visited a place in another township called Khaeyetlisha called the “Treatment Action Campaign”, which offers educational services and support for those affected by HIV/AIDS. One particular activities who basically runs the center spoke toe us, and his name was Mandela. Mandela had an intense amount of passion and dedication to providing awareness reguarding HIV/AIDS. He even told us President Obama had sat in the same room as we had.

We then visited a TB/HIV clinic and I will admit I felt uncomfortable around so many sick people. Many patients wore masks and the building felt unsanitary, in my standards ( but I’m sure it was not in theirs). I will admit I was quick to judge, as hard as I tried not to. After our clinic visit, we were greeted by a member of the church who does socialwork in Guguletu, and her name is Johanna. Johanna gave us a tour of the seven monuments where a group of men where killed and shot, the Amy Biel memorial ( Amy Biel was an American staying in the Capetown area and was killed about ten years ago), and the food market. I was entirely grossed out at the food market- meat sat out with flies surrounding it. There was also a little place across the street where “smiley” was being prepared. Smiley is a “sheeps” head and it looks gross. Look up a picture in google if you are interested, just type in South African Smiley.

One experience I will never forget was when we visited 2 orphans- a girl who is about 18 years old and a boy who is about 10 years old. They lived in their own home and were helped out by Johanna and the JL Zwane center. They have been orphaned for about 2 years because their mother had died, and they had relatives in the Eastern Cape, which is a different area in South Africa, but chose to stay in Guguletu because they wanted to remain in school and get an education since the move would only allow them to drop out of school and work on a ranch. I was particularly touched/effected when the orphan girl spoke of her role as a student, mother, and sister, and the challenges she faced. My heart ached for the losses she had suffered and the daily struggles she faced in these roles. It made me reflect upon the particular situation and if I was in her role with my 4 younger siblings. How does one balance raising a family, getting an education, and at the same time partake in the process of growing up as a young adult? I can’t even put myself in her shoes or situation. Not having the support of parents would be extremely difficult.

After visiting these orphans, we wrapped up our day spending time with kids in the rainbow after-school program. Brittney and I were placed in a classroom with 3rd grade children. This was one of the favorite parts of my trip- although these kids could not speak English ( they spoke Xhosa) they enjoyed our presence. These kids had the biggest hearts- smiles and laughs poured out as we took pictures and showed the pictures to them. They sung songs and danced for us, too. It was a gentle reminder of the importance of the simple things in life, such as a smile or laugh.

I also want to tell the story of a woman who made a huge impact on myself, as well as our group in general. Johanna is an older woman (50-60ish years) who no longer works as a cleaning supervisor because of her bad back problems, so has instead opted to quit that job and now works/volunteers as a “social worker” for JL Zwane, Several days each week, Johanna visits the elderly, orphaned, or those in need. She delivers foods and simply talks to them and keeps them company. She speaks so proudly of her duties and what she does. She genuinely loves the work she does, and the irony of this situation is that she is just as in need of these things as any other individual in the community. She has an incredible amount of faith and feels that she will be provided with as long as she has her faith, and she hasn’t gone to bed hungry in the 2 years she has done this because of that faith..keep in mind she has no income.

I also want to mention a few of the important things I will take away from conversation with Mel Bars ( the assistant pastor from Florida). The first lesson, is that one should ask people and be curious about other’s life stories. It is a gift that goes both ways, and through other’s life stories you learn more about yourself and how to articulate yourself out loud. The second lesson, is that you must remember to revisit/reflect upon “Am I authentic person on my own journey?” in times of feeling guilt, dispair, etc. This helps ease those feelings because you can at least acknowledge/honor the differences. I want to further illustrate how I feel about these two lessons. The first lesson, is something a personal mentor and friend made me aware of and how important life stories are. I have always been interested in other’s life stories because I am aware that it helps me to get to know myself better and what my mission in life is, as well as what I enjoy, what motivates me to get up every day, etc. However, I haven’t thought much about how life stories are a gift that goes both ways. Meaning, when a person share’s their life story with you it makes them eager, excited, etc. that you are interested in who they are and what they have to say, and not only does it do that, but it can help you articulate and understand where you come from and what you believe. I have such a genuine interest for other’s life stories and it makes me crave travel and wanting to learn more through different culture. Secondly, the lesson of asking yourself “ Am I an authentic person on my own journey?” during times of dispair, guilt, etc. I am sure most, if not any, can attest that it is difficult to not feel guilty when you are sourrounded with people who are less fortunate than yourself, no matter the circumstances or what one is familiar with/knows. For example, when you see a young child running on a playground and they fall and scrape their knee, you automatically feel empathetic for the pain they are feeling. Or you see a homeless person on the street and want to give them money, even if you are a broke college student. Being in Guguletu is an extreme case of these feelings. Touring the towns and seeing those who have literally nothing, makes one want to share what they have ( even if it is little) and feel guilty that we are much more fortunate in terms of basic necessities, shelter, an education, etc. However, the lesson to be learned in these situations is that you can not take responsibility or feel guilty for these situations- it is part of life and acknowledging the differences is what is the most important. Being true to yourself is what is important, and accepting that this is part of life is also important. One can give or contribute where your self-interests lie and with what you are passionate about. Currently, I am still unsure of where this is, but I want to be able to commit myself to finding this.

6/8/09

Puns and Buns- that is what Erica and I love J

Yesterday was our first day of the trip we got to sleep in and have a free day to ourselves, something I enjoyed immensely. Yes, I’m complaining that we have been a little bit overprogrammed, but it has to be that way when you are only spending three weeks across the world, so needless to say I really enjoyed it. I spent my afternoon with two other students- Emily T. and Amanda D. and our instructor, Christen, at the beach in the suburbs of Capetown. The water was freezing, but the views were beautiful. I really enjoyed it.

I have still been thinking about how to process my expriences here, and I am clueless as how to go about it or what to do with myself. It’s almost like I’m in denial, using it as a defense mechanims, that is hindering me on expressing what I felt in the township of Guguletu.

Today during our class at the University of Capetown, we met and began to process our experience in the township. We ended up getting on the subject of education and all associated with it. Education in South Africa, specifically the townships, is a HUGE problem that is not easily solved and that does not have one specific remedy or answer htat will cure all of the symptoms this problem of education creates. In South Africa, students are required to wear uniforms and for the most part, attend private schools and have to pay large fees to do so. Because many families in the townships have low incomes, they struggle to pay the fees for their children’s primary education: something that is SO valuable for a child and helping them excel in life. A majority of the children go to school with empty bellies, which as one knows, has a huge impact on their learning and hinders their ability to learn important subjects and skills for life. Teachers aren’t payed well, and the facilities are terrible. Seeing this education and reflecting upon my own before college brought up a lot of feelings. As many students feel, growing up in a small rural town our education was somewhat hindered….we didn’t have as many resources as larger schools because of funding, which meant less extracurriculars, less AP course offerings in the highschools, paying fees for extras, etc. How can I complain about this when students across the world are struggling to learn because they are hungry or because they literally have rain coming into their classrooms? My heart goes out to these children and the world they grow up in.

I also know that with this experience I would like to formally collaborate with CEHD student services and the study abroad office to possibly do something surrounding study abroad workshops for students interested and promoting the value and benefit of study abroad. I’ve had a little thought with this and I already have an in by working in the undergraduate student services office because with the new iniatives for incoming students, they are required to attend advising Fridays and can attend study abroad sessions. I would like to create some sort of presentation and be able to present at those workshops occasionally, maybe the study abroad office, or even to student organizations. Not only with this help me revisit and reflect upon how I interpret and use my experience, but I hope that it will inspire at least several students to utilize study abroad.

South Africa 4

2009-05-30T23:40:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was spent on a South African safari…my favorite part thus far! We drove about 3 hours outside of Capetown and spent the entire day driving around in a landrover seeing zebras, giraffes, antelope, etc. What an experience.

Today will be the day we leave to stay in the townships for 5 days for our homestay in Gugletu. We will be attending a church services this morning there and then meeting our host families. Throughout the week, we will spend time in lecture as well as serving those of Gugletu. We will be listening to an HIV/AIDS support group, spending time with kids in an afternoon school program, cleaning up a playground, etc. Because I will be in Gugletu, I will not have internet access for the week. More to come when I return to Capetown…..

Emily

South Africa 3

2009-05-30T23:38:00.000-07:00

Since I haven’t blogged the last few days, I am going to recap what we have done and seen the past several days.

One thing I want to start for my blogs and continue to do throughout my experience is listing things I am grateful/appreciative of. So here it goes:
The natural beauty of South Africa and being able to experience it.
Getting to know 10 of the most wonderful people who are experiencing South Africa with me. I enjoy learning their life stories and who they are as leaders.
That I am able to bring smiles and joy to people I am surrounded by.
A warm, DRY (for those of you in South Africa) bed
Coffee!!
People who are passionate and care about the world.
The ability to have an interest in life long learning.
My general positive attitude and abilities to make the best out of any situation.

Wednesday- On Wednesday morning, we spent our time at UCT with the entire group and Christen (our instructor) and her husband Mark (University of CapeTown) at our first lecture, where a professor of political science spoke on Apartheid and the history of South Africa, which was incredibly intriguing and interesting. His name was Zwelethu, and there is rumor that he may be appointed to the new president of South Africa’s cabinet (just a little neat fact). Our classroom overlooked the mountains, which was a beautiful place to be learning. To note an interesting fact, Zwelethu mentioned there is an “AIDS” industry throughout South Africa, meaning there are a slew of jobs to be pursued within this industry whether it be consulting, counseling, resource centers, policy, etc. We then headed to a place called Café Sofia that had pretty Americanized food and ate lunch. We spent our afternoon at a museum dedicated to District 6. District 6 was a neighborhood in CapeTown with primary black residents who were kicked out of their neighborhood during Apartheid and the government demolished their living quarters. It is a prime living area because of it’s relocation- it is near table mountain, downtown, the ocean, etc. Later on we went to Green Market Square, which was a tradition African market with lots of vendors. I bought some things for friends, families and myself and even landed a few deals by negotiating/bargaining (that’s for you Dad!).

Thursday- our entire day centered on typical tourism. We spent our day traveling surrounding CapeTown doing various things. We took a coach bus and headed to “seal” Island….we took a ferry out on the ocean to see a beautiful area where many seals are located near the mountains. It ended up raining and was quite rough on the ocean, however I kind of enjoyed the weather. We then went to see a penguin reserve/colony which was a boardwalk that went through the Oceanside park of South African penguins, where were entirely adorable! Who knew creatures could be so fascinating? We spent our afternoon visiting Capepoint and the Cape of Good Hope. Capepoint was an area nestled on the ocean with giant boulders looking into the ocean….very scenic and beautiful. My favorite part of this day was getting to see the Cape of Good Hope. The Cape of Good Hope is an area near Capetown, which is the most southern tip of the entire continent of Africa. It is up a mountain, probably about a half of a mile walk up on cobblestone and when you reach the top, there is a lighthouse and it overlooks the Atlantic and Indian oceans. After hiking up the path and finally being at the point, I was immensely amazed and will be one of those moments I will never forget- a moment that summed my entire experiences thus far in South Africa. South Africa is one of the most physically beautiful places I’ve ever been to.

Friday- Today we had an informal discussion at UCT with our instructor, Christen, and the other leadership students. We reflected upon our experiences thus far and how we feel about South Africa up to this point. We also touched on what we will be experiencing in the coming week where we will be living in Guguletu- a village outside of CapeTown that is stricken by an immense amount of poverty. This village was created during Apartheid that where people where separated by their race. Our agenda had us going to Robbin Island (where Nelson Mandela was imprisoned) for the afternoon, however the weather didn’t permit us to go. Our trip to the island was moved up to our third week when we are back in Capetown.

My Experiences-

One of the most frustrating things that has been overly apparent to me throughout my trip thus far, is my confusion associated with my reason or passion for being here. I will be the first to admit that I am rather impatient when a question of thoughts are unanswered. I have always trusted my gut instinct and I know I would be on this trip for a reason, something inside of me told me that it would not only be life changing, but also give me an answer to something I desired to seek out. Personally, questions and thoughts are answered when I am aware and listening to the world around me. However, it has been difficult for me to do so on this trip because I have spent a majority of my time taking in my experiences and not knowing how to interpret or categorize them. I feel that part of this is because I am somewhere unfamiliar, as well as experiencing things I have never experienced before. A part of not being able to articulate or find my passion for being here is because I am still in a relatively comfortable environment, and when I spend my next week in a very challenging and uncomfortable environment, I will be able to better articulate and express my reason for participating in this experience. I am still waiting and looking….

Getting to spend time and known the 9 other students on this trip has been very rewarding, and I feel I have gotten to know them to an extent that would be impossible in many other situations because of the context and mission of this trip. We have built a community that will have a lasting impact on my life and when reflecting upon my experiences, I know these people will enrich what I have felt and seen. Being around leaders who similar to me provides a blanket of security, but challenges me because when getting to know these people, they are all incredibly different. I am very, very grateful for these people and look forward to what I will learn from them in the following 2 weeks while in South Africa.

I miss home a little bit…..I miss my dad, my brothers, and being around the comforts of home during the summer time. When I go back to Minneapolis after this trip, it will be my first summer away from home, and I have mixed feeling on this; although, overall it is bittersweet. The thing I miss most about home is watching others grow, particularly my brothers. When I return to the US, I am excited to go home and spend a few days around my family. I am appreciative to have family who support me in my journey, values, experiences, and decisions (for the most part).

During our class discussion, Christen asked us what we thought/felt the reason for spending our first week doing touristy stuff in CapeTown and then spending a week in a village was intended for. Previous to this question, I reflected upon this thought for a long time. Was this set up intentionally or was it “just because?” However, I believe there is intention in this and it is because we will gain the most out of our trip and see different aspects of beauty. To further illustrate, I believe the beauty in CapeTown versus the beauty in townships are polar opposites. Capetown is “physically” beautiful- very scenic, beautiful historical sights, etc. On the extreme end, you have townships surrounding Captown that are literally shacks and the people of those townships are incredibly poor and live off of little- however, community is highly valued which translates into people who are internally beautiful. A quote from our interstudy leader “NJ” ( to maybe further illustrate this concept?) is that South Africa is a “third world country with the feautures of a first world country.” Overall, I am very excited for the upcoming week and what we will be able to experience in our “service” aspect of the trip in Guguletu. I am surprised that I am not nervous or apprehensive for this part of the trip, which seems to be a feeling among many of the other students. I feel the reason being is because one of my best qualities, as a person and leader, is being able to adapt and make the best of any situation. I feel that although I will potentionally be very uncomfortable, I will be able to walk out of this experiernce more appreciative, grateful, and inspired than I have ever been. This is the sole reason I am looking forward to this part.

I am off…….tonight we are going out for dinner and then out for drinks……Saturday is a full day of a safari!!! ( for those of you who know I have been looking forward to this part for so long!)…..More to come.

Watermelondrea

2009-05-26T09:53:00.001-07:00

Today was my first full day in CapeTown. In the morning, we had our orientation at the University of Capetown, and then spent the afternoon at the waterfront shopping and walking alongside the ocean. I still cannot get over how beautiful the mountains settled all along Capetown are. The view is absolutly breathtaking. It makes me wonder if people visiting the University of Minnesota think our campus is just as beautiful? Do I take it for granted? I wonder...

I am still adjusting to this new environment. Usually I cannot stop running my mouth, but here, I have been quieter because I am taking in all that is new- our housing, streets, university, bathrooms, people, etc. Our house is absolutly adorable. I will post pictures later......a good sized lavendar villa nestled on a street, and when you look up on our street you see the mountains. We left our house this morning around 8 am and as I stepped out of our doorstep, it was one of those "surreal" moments- sunny, peaceful, and beautiful. I still cannot believe I am in South Africa....

Here is a list compiled of some of the things I have done so far and what I have observed in my new environment...

1. I LOVE South African accents. It's a mixture between Australian and English, and hard to explain but so interesting!

2. I road a pirate ship today, that's right. We all took a cruise/tacky tourist trap on the ocean along the harbor and watched 2 outrageous guys sing songs and act like pirates would, all while listening to trance/techno music. Be jelous.

3. I still have no concept of how South African money, also known as rand, translates into American money. The South African rand is 8 to 1 of our American dollars, which means we are getting good deals. That means I have NO concept of budgeting....this could get dangerous.

4. We have a great group of "interstudy" faculty/leaders/possy that escorts us around the city and campus.

5. The whole security measure that are taken into account here are interesting. Each home is gated and has bars on the windows/doors, as well as panic buttons. It almost makes you feel as if you are in a jail cell at times. Security is supposed to improve safety, and it can be scary to see how serious they take it into account and makes me feel leery of an unsafe environment. However, overall, I feel very safe because these measures are taken.

6. Buses are called jammies.

7. One of the most profound thoughts that has stuck in my mind is that I am still in Africa, technically a 3rd world country, however I am sitting in my house ( which is very comfortable and nice), on my labtop using wireless, eating gourmet meals, etc. so the aspect of 3rd world doesn't really apply in this setting. I think it will sink in when we do our homestays in the village of Guguletu all of next week. My first perceptions of Africa are totally unexpected of what I had perceived before coming here.

Tomorrow's agenda- our first lecture and then we are visiting the district 6 musuem......more to come!

Emily

2009-05-25T14:07:00.000-07:00

I made it to CapeTown in one piece, believe it or not! I am here. Wow. It's about 11 pm here, and I am WIDE awake. The plane ride from Minneapolis to Amsterdam was shorter, 8 hours, but seemed like forever. I slept from Amsterdamn to Capetown, which was about an 11 hour flight- woah. I am thinking I won't get much sleep tonight, oh well.

More to follow......I'm going to get unpacking and hang out.

Emily