Memories of Guglethu

5/31/2009

I woke up this morning and prepared myself and my belongings for a week long homestead in the township of Guguletu, which is just outside of Capetown. It was about a 15 minute drive from where we are staying in Mobwray. Immediately upon arrival I was opened up to the extreme physical appearance in the disparity of wealth- Instead of “homes”, the streets were closely lined and crowded with literal shacks- sheets of tin or warped boards and a tin roof in a space just big enough to be a standard bathroom in a home in the United States. I couldn’t believe that families lived in these- sometimes even 10 or 12 people. There was trash throughout these streets, with scruffy dogs digging through the piles to find something to eat. This was an image I will never forget- I felt almost that it was unrealistic and that it was a scene from a picture or movie. We then arrived at the church/community center called “JL Zwane.” JL Zwane is a community center/church that provides church services, community activities, HIV/AIDS support groups, the “Rainbow” after school program (which I will later explain), an orphan program, and delivers food parcels to those in need, etc. When we entered the community center and got settled for the church service, we were greeted by hundreds of smiles and hugs, grace, thanks, etc. It was amazing to see how big these people’s hearts were for these strangers ( us) who had come across the world to learn and experience South Africa, specifically the township of Guguletu.

After mingling before the church service we went to sit and observe/participate in an authentic JL Zwane church service. I had mixed feelings about what I was going to experience because of my feelings/thoughts toward organized religion. However, the service ended up being beautiful. Throughout the entire service, the choir/members of the church sang quite frequently and I have honestly never heard such beautiful song/worship and powerful voices were entirely moving. It gave me chills up and down my back and that moment will forever be remembered. It was a gentle reminder how music and singing can influence your feelings and emotions.

I would also like to talk a little bit about what JL Zwane looks like. It was recently remodeled within the past 10 years, so it is relatively modern. The walls are painted in rich tones and colores- purples, yellows, oranges, blues. Scattered throughout the center walls are phrases and sayings relating to love, faith, hope, religion, etc. My favorite phrase on the wall in the main gathering area is “ Live simply, love extravangantly.” There are several break out rooms, the area where the church services are, a main gathering area, bathrooms, a couple of offices, a kitchen, etc. There is also a place in the front where you meet and greet that has modern looking “space” like chairs that are SO comfortable.

One of the first people we conversed with was Mel, a chaplain who is in the army who is spending a couple of years doing her degree in Guguletu. Mel is 27 years old and is originally from Florida. She introduced us to the center and shared her kind words with us. After further getting to know her, I realized how mature and wise she was for being so young. She was an incredibly effective communicator and offered great advice to what we were about/ were experiencing in Guguletu.
So far, I feel very safe and comfortable in my homestay. After our church services and talking to various people, we met our “host” families and our house mamas ( as they refer them to). My house mama is Titi, and she is a middle-aged single mother who teaches in Guguletu. Titi has one daughter in college ( who is studying economics) and her name is Mumella. After getting to know Titi a little bit, I realized she was very reserved and somewhat quiet/shy, but she has such a kind heart. I was hoping for someone more open and lively, however I am grateful to have a nice home and comfortable atmosphere to stay.

I am still unsure of how to process and reflect upon my experiences thus far. I wonder when will it hit me? When will it change me? When will the light bulb go off? It is frusterating and I feel an overwhelming amount of anxiety pertaining to these thoughts. I am used to being able to express my feelings with ease through words and communicate to myself how I feel, but I am at a loss of words and feelings. Does this mean I am not challenging myself enough? Do I need to push myself outside of my comfort zone? Or is this how I naturally react upon a situation such as this ( since I have never really experienced this before)? It makes me want to give up and not feel, but I obviously can’t do that.

To end the evening, I am going to make a list of things I am grateful for:

1.) A giving/gracious host mama and daughter who have made me feel at home, safe, and comfortable
2.) Getting to experience and hear the singing today at the church service


6/1/2009

Today I delt with many feelings, mostly a mixture of denial and distance as a way of coping with the hardships I have seen. We visited a place in another township called Khaeyetlisha called the “Treatment Action Campaign”, which offers educational services and support for those affected by HIV/AIDS. One particular activities who basically runs the center spoke toe us, and his name was Mandela. Mandela had an intense amount of passion and dedication to providing awareness reguarding HIV/AIDS. He even told us President Obama had sat in the same room as we had.

We then visited a TB/HIV clinic and I will admit I felt uncomfortable around so many sick people. Many patients wore masks and the building felt unsanitary, in my standards ( but I’m sure it was not in theirs). I will admit I was quick to judge, as hard as I tried not to. After our clinic visit, we were greeted by a member of the church who does socialwork in Guguletu, and her name is Johanna. Johanna gave us a tour of the seven monuments where a group of men where killed and shot, the Amy Biel memorial ( Amy Biel was an American staying in the Capetown area and was killed about ten years ago), and the food market. I was entirely grossed out at the food market- meat sat out with flies surrounding it. There was also a little place across the street where “smiley” was being prepared. Smiley is a “sheeps” head and it looks gross. Look up a picture in google if you are interested, just type in South African Smiley.

One experience I will never forget was when we visited 2 orphans- a girl who is about 18 years old and a boy who is about 10 years old. They lived in their own home and were helped out by Johanna and the JL Zwane center. They have been orphaned for about 2 years because their mother had died, and they had relatives in the Eastern Cape, which is a different area in South Africa, but chose to stay in Guguletu because they wanted to remain in school and get an education since the move would only allow them to drop out of school and work on a ranch. I was particularly touched/effected when the orphan girl spoke of her role as a student, mother, and sister, and the challenges she faced. My heart ached for the losses she had suffered and the daily struggles she faced in these roles. It made me reflect upon the particular situation and if I was in her role with my 4 younger siblings. How does one balance raising a family, getting an education, and at the same time partake in the process of growing up as a young adult? I can’t even put myself in her shoes or situation. Not having the support of parents would be extremely difficult.

After visiting these orphans, we wrapped up our day spending time with kids in the rainbow after-school program. Brittney and I were placed in a classroom with 3rd grade children. This was one of the favorite parts of my trip- although these kids could not speak English ( they spoke Xhosa) they enjoyed our presence. These kids had the biggest hearts- smiles and laughs poured out as we took pictures and showed the pictures to them. They sung songs and danced for us, too. It was a gentle reminder of the importance of the simple things in life, such as a smile or laugh.

I also want to tell the story of a woman who made a huge impact on myself, as well as our group in general. Johanna is an older woman (50-60ish years) who no longer works as a cleaning supervisor because of her bad back problems, so has instead opted to quit that job and now works/volunteers as a “social worker” for JL Zwane, Several days each week, Johanna visits the elderly, orphaned, or those in need. She delivers foods and simply talks to them and keeps them company. She speaks so proudly of her duties and what she does. She genuinely loves the work she does, and the irony of this situation is that she is just as in need of these things as any other individual in the community. She has an incredible amount of faith and feels that she will be provided with as long as she has her faith, and she hasn’t gone to bed hungry in the 2 years she has done this because of that faith..keep in mind she has no income.

I also want to mention a few of the important things I will take away from conversation with Mel Bars ( the assistant pastor from Florida). The first lesson, is that one should ask people and be curious about other’s life stories. It is a gift that goes both ways, and through other’s life stories you learn more about yourself and how to articulate yourself out loud. The second lesson, is that you must remember to revisit/reflect upon “Am I authentic person on my own journey?” in times of feeling guilt, dispair, etc. This helps ease those feelings because you can at least acknowledge/honor the differences. I want to further illustrate how I feel about these two lessons. The first lesson, is something a personal mentor and friend made me aware of and how important life stories are. I have always been interested in other’s life stories because I am aware that it helps me to get to know myself better and what my mission in life is, as well as what I enjoy, what motivates me to get up every day, etc. However, I haven’t thought much about how life stories are a gift that goes both ways. Meaning, when a person share’s their life story with you it makes them eager, excited, etc. that you are interested in who they are and what they have to say, and not only does it do that, but it can help you articulate and understand where you come from and what you believe. I have such a genuine interest for other’s life stories and it makes me crave travel and wanting to learn more through different culture. Secondly, the lesson of asking yourself “ Am I an authentic person on my own journey?” during times of dispair, guilt, etc. I am sure most, if not any, can attest that it is difficult to not feel guilty when you are sourrounded with people who are less fortunate than yourself, no matter the circumstances or what one is familiar with/knows. For example, when you see a young child running on a playground and they fall and scrape their knee, you automatically feel empathetic for the pain they are feeling. Or you see a homeless person on the street and want to give them money, even if you are a broke college student. Being in Guguletu is an extreme case of these feelings. Touring the towns and seeing those who have literally nothing, makes one want to share what they have ( even if it is little) and feel guilty that we are much more fortunate in terms of basic necessities, shelter, an education, etc. However, the lesson to be learned in these situations is that you can not take responsibility or feel guilty for these situations- it is part of life and acknowledging the differences is what is the most important. Being true to yourself is what is important, and accepting that this is part of life is also important. One can give or contribute where your self-interests lie and with what you are passionate about. Currently, I am still unsure of where this is, but I want to be able to commit myself to finding this.

6/8/09

Puns and Buns- that is what Erica and I love J

Yesterday was our first day of the trip we got to sleep in and have a free day to ourselves, something I enjoyed immensely. Yes, I’m complaining that we have been a little bit overprogrammed, but it has to be that way when you are only spending three weeks across the world, so needless to say I really enjoyed it. I spent my afternoon with two other students- Emily T. and Amanda D. and our instructor, Christen, at the beach in the suburbs of Capetown. The water was freezing, but the views were beautiful. I really enjoyed it.

I have still been thinking about how to process my expriences here, and I am clueless as how to go about it or what to do with myself. It’s almost like I’m in denial, using it as a defense mechanims, that is hindering me on expressing what I felt in the township of Guguletu.

Today during our class at the University of Capetown, we met and began to process our experience in the township. We ended up getting on the subject of education and all associated with it. Education in South Africa, specifically the townships, is a HUGE problem that is not easily solved and that does not have one specific remedy or answer htat will cure all of the symptoms this problem of education creates. In South Africa, students are required to wear uniforms and for the most part, attend private schools and have to pay large fees to do so. Because many families in the townships have low incomes, they struggle to pay the fees for their children’s primary education: something that is SO valuable for a child and helping them excel in life. A majority of the children go to school with empty bellies, which as one knows, has a huge impact on their learning and hinders their ability to learn important subjects and skills for life. Teachers aren’t payed well, and the facilities are terrible. Seeing this education and reflecting upon my own before college brought up a lot of feelings. As many students feel, growing up in a small rural town our education was somewhat hindered….we didn’t have as many resources as larger schools because of funding, which meant less extracurriculars, less AP course offerings in the highschools, paying fees for extras, etc. How can I complain about this when students across the world are struggling to learn because they are hungry or because they literally have rain coming into their classrooms? My heart goes out to these children and the world they grow up in.


I also know that with this experience I would like to formally collaborate with CEHD student services and the study abroad office to possibly do something surrounding study abroad workshops for students interested and promoting the value and benefit of study abroad. I’ve had a little thought with this and I already have an in by working in the undergraduate student services office because with the new iniatives for incoming students, they are required to attend advising Fridays and can attend study abroad sessions. I would like to create some sort of presentation and be able to present at those workshops occasionally, maybe the study abroad office, or even to student organizations. Not only with this help me revisit and reflect upon how I interpret and use my experience, but I hope that it will inspire at least several students to utilize study abroad.