"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away."- Dinah Craik
To hundreds of thousands of people out there, this weekend (specifically Sunday) marks a very important day: Father's Day! Words will NEVER do justice to one of the most important people I am incredibly grateful to have in my life-my dad.
If you feel like reading a VERY short story of who my dad is and how our relationship has blossomed into one that has allowed me to grow and expand in ways I could have never dreamed nor imagined, sit tight and start reading :)
Growing up, my mom was the breadwinner of our family and I believe that together they agreed that when they had children, one of them would stay home. Naturally, it worked out better for my dad to raise their family, and deep down, I think he had a desire too :) Before he knew it, he had five awesome (and wild or as some people call it, an organized chaos) children. I think in my dad's earlier years he was somewhat bitter that he had to put his life on hold to raise children, but because the nature of his character is incredibly resilient, he began to see a light (somewhere, NOT SURE WHERE!!) how rewarding raising a family could be. I will never forget the time he told me "Emily, when I saw you go off to school as a little girl, in kindergarten, and made friends and enjoyed school…that was the first time I felt genuinely happy after putting my life on hold.".... It makes me think and wonder (and I'm sure any of you parents out there reading this) how powerful having children is and the amount of sacrifice you do to raise your babies, kids, teenagers is. So instead of babbling on about how truly wonderful/awesome/amazing/SUPER my dad is, I have decided to make a very short list of the just a few of the stories/experiences/characteristics that make me proud to call my dad, my dad.
1. Here I go again with the quotes, but these are fabulously great ways to sum up and express how I feel...."My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person: he believed in me"~ Jim Valvano. From the time I was a young child to the present moment (as I sit here in a coffee shop studying as a college student), I have realized my dad has an incredible ability to believe. Now, I'm not going to get into personal details about the issues he has dealt with (because everyone goes through struggle, on whatever level or issue that may be), but my dad has been able to consistently believe in himself, his kids, his community, and the greater world. I will never forget the process of searching for my 'dream college' in high school and going through the competitive process of applying, being waitlisted, and finally getting accept into the University of Minnesota. There were people (and sometimes myself) who doubted I may have to rearrange my plans of attending school at the U, but my dad was with me the entire time and shared my enthusiasm and joy when I found out I was accepted. He believed. My family has been through our trial and struggle (what family hasn't??) and I believe this is because of my dad's strength and ability in believes in "us". His attitude is that deep down, somewhere or somehow, we are a family for a reason, no matter how dysfunctional, chaotic, or crazy we are. My dad believes.
2. My dad is an incredibly talented person and I never fully realized the scale of how talented he really is until I got older and more mature (and I'm sure I'll have these 'mini life revelations' about his resourcefulness and talents as I continue to grow older). My dad has not only survived, but also thrived in a community with very little room for opportunity to grow. Now, I'm not saying Ladysmith, Wisconsin is not a charming community and that there are great things about it, because there definitely are. What I am saying, is that my dad has the ability to tailor his life and just 'make it work' no matter where he is. Like I said, my dad's profession is being a stay-at home dad. Now that we are all in school and after raising all of us (and he still continues to do so), my dad has become what I like to call "A Master at Life". Here are just a few of the cool things my dad does:
-He serves and does work with a non-profit community foundation in our hometown, serving primarily as the treasurer. This foundation was newly started a few years back and its mission involves improving our community through endowments in hopes of creating an everlasting impact on Rusk County. I have had the pleasure in the past few years of watching my dad grow, professionally, as he uses all of his talents and skills volunteering his time and knowledge on being able to help this foundation grow. This is just ONE example of how he has become involved in our community.
-One of his newest hobbies is real estate. My dad has bought a couple of 'fixer uppers' in this down economy and has been able to make these his mini projects and sources of income. I think these are his pride and joy (next to his family, of course). My dad has a keen eye for being able to see the sparkle in a seemingly 'worthless' piece of property and the financial smarts to purchase and develop these little charmers. Actually, I think he saw the same ‘sparkle’ in his kids when we were young being little brats and knew one day, we would develop into grown ups who rocked at life ☺. One of his favorite projects he did this past year was planting a huge garden and orchard on one of his properties. I had the pleasure of being home the whole month of May (after studying abroad) and he got to show his baby off..... and I must say, that in about three years, that garden is going to be one of the COOLEST and literally, most fruitful, projects my dad has ever done. My dad used to garden when I was a little kid and eventually had to stop when we moved into a larger house to accommodate our growing family, and he finally gets to garden again and I think deep down, it is where he 'unplugs' from life and enjoys the simplicity of the world (the fruits of his labor).
-One of my dad's personal and professional hobbies is financial planning. My dad's education was in the accounting field and he also got his financial planning certificate pre-family, with the intention of raising a family and one day being able to professionally practice financial planning. My dad has been the money manager of our family for as long as I can remember and despite some major challenges, has allowed for our family to thrive and have countless opportunities (which will remained unnamed because there are so many). Words will never express how much I appreciate my dad for this. I may never have had the newest car or best cell phone, but I have an undergraduate education that was payed for, thanks to my dad's wise ability to start investing early in his family. When I came home this past May from studying abroad, I was driving my dad's car one day, and found a fortune saved from a dinner at Chinese that said "Don't worry about the stock market, invest in family.” My dad's abilities to invest are beyond amazing. His thoughtful choice in investment into his children and our education has payed off- he has allowed me to have the best college experience I could ask for (attending leadership conferences in Washington D.C. and Florida, studying abroad twice, the list literally goes on and on).
3.My dad has yet another incredible ability to be one of the best parents, if not BEST DAD, in the world (of course I’m sure a lot of daughters feel this way about their dad’s too!). I think until people are parents, they don't realize how mentally taxing and difficult being a parent can be, let alone be a full time dad. Although stay at home dads are becoming increasingly more common these days, I think it's biologically harder for a man to be a stay at home parent than a woman (for things such as multi tasking, having an innate ability to be more empathetic, etc.). No one gives you a manual, training, or 'this is how it works' tutorial on being a parent. It is simply trial by error. Yes, you can take workshops or read books on how to become a better parent, but that will NEVER prepare you for what you take on in raising kids. I remember I used to get really frustrated and upset with my dad when he would forget things. In retrospect, I look back, and I honestly have no clue how my dad has done it all. He has successfully taught, managed, empathized, whatever you want to call it five children- and amazingly, we are all turning out (in the words of my dad) to be "pretty damn great." Growing up, I always remember how our house was the place to be- my dad never said no to a friend coming over (in fact, he encouraged it all the time) and allowed for us to be kids- we got dirty in the mud, made mistakes and broke things, were sassy to each other and beat each other up, cried for hours on end when one of my brothers decided to ruin my barbie collection, and somehow.....my dad (and five of us plus my mom) survived. This alone, proves mentally and physically, the strength my dad has and how nurturing he really is. The memories of my childhood are awesome because of my dad.
4. Last but definitely not least, the best thing about my dad is that he is MY dad. I respect and admire my dad for being honest, genuine/authentic/sincere, compassionate towards all aspects of life, resourceful, optimistic honorable, intelligent, his sense of humor, his humble confidence, and most importantly- his ability to celebrate and honor our similarities, yet respect our differences. Many of the qualities I admire my dad for are things I am proud and honor in myself.
As I sit here and have made the difficult decision (because I know I could go on forever and ever) to wrap up probably one of the longest blog posts I’ve ever written, I find myself tearing up. How did I get so lucky to have this man, my dad, in my life? I will forever cherish what we have, past-present-and future, because without my dad, I can honestly and sincerely say I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
Happy Father’s Day to my best friend, holder of one of my most meaningful relationships, the leader I most respect, for guidance and steering me in the RIGHT direction, my own personal (and affordable) life coach, my rock and strength, someone who means more than the world to me- my dad.
And to end on a good note that thoroughly expresses what my dad has done for me, here it is:
"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."…. Thanks Dad for doing just that ☺
Happy Father’s Day, Dad! I love you.
Emily
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