Bridges.

"Find life experiences and swallow them whole. Travel. Meet many people. Go down some dead ends and explore dark alleys. Try everything. Exhaust yourself in the glorious pursuit of life."





I have been meaning to continue my blogging efforts, but life sure got in the way of it the past week or so. Where do I begin? Start? If you're ready this, you're in for a real LONG treat. But, if you have a lot of free time, I feel like it'll be worth it :)


The experience of processing a study abroad/exchange program is an entirely different concept to explain, so I'll try my best to describe what it is like. In fact, I probably won't finish describing or interpreting it in one post, so this blog might just be a continuation of it all, who knows. Anyhow, I left St. Croix, in the Virgin Islands, at the end of April FULL ON READY to be back home in the United States, Minneapolis and Ladysmith. The week before I was about to leave my life as an island girl, it hit me. I WAS LEAVING. At that very moment, I feel like I started to authentically live in the present. I appreciated every conversation with friends. I watched every sunset I could sneak in. I stopped complaing about the hassles of the Virgin Islands- the potholes, the crappy cars, the fact that there is no concept of time, some of the rude people.....and began to really enjoy the island. How convinient- right when I was about to leave. I will never forget the day I left St. Croix. I woke up at the crack of dawn and headed to breakfast with two of my amazing friends- Nikki and Casey. Our last breakfast ( the last supper) on the beach, biscuits and gravy, coffee.....and tears. As we headed for the airport, I got an entirely huge knot in my stomach- a knot of excitement, anxiousness, sadness, loneliness, you name it- I felt it. As my bags were transferred from Nikki's car to the ticket confirmation booth, tears began to roll down our faces. And then.....I became hysterical. And I didn't stop for a good hour, or more. Another chapter of my life was being closed.....and it felt like the world was coming down on me. Like they say, when it rains, it POURS. My life was a pouring hot mess. I finally got myself together in the tiny St. Croix airport ( and masked some of my emotions) and actually met a really cool couple. They were older, and were leaving their vacation on the island of St. Croix, headed back home. The woman/wife started talking to me and through our conversation, I found out that she was of course, a world traveler/enthusiast, had a daughter who taught YOGA all over the world, and was taking a trip in the next year to Kenya with her husband and a group of friends with their significant others. Now ask me this.....why did I FAIL to not take her name or number? I will never know. But this it the beauty of travel.......the people you meet ( and their stories), hands down. I believe this woman provided me with a distraction as I began to board my small 8 person plane and my feelings of sadness were replaced with anxiousness/excitedness for my flight (on the crazy plane) over the ocean to bring me back to my life on the 'mainland'.

So.....to continue on, I arrived in Minneapolis and spent a day there doing a little shopping, meeting up with friends, etc. And then- the month of May hit. And I was back in Ladysmith, Wisconsin for a WHOLE month. I will not lie- I was incredibly nervous to be living back at home for a month. Let's now fast forward a month ( June) and in retrospect, I can genuinly/ say that my month in Ladysmith was one of the best months of my ENTIRE college career, maybe even my life. I became obsessed ( ask my buddies at CEHD, they can attest to this) with being domestic- running errands for my dad, drinking coffee in the morning with my dad, picking up my siblings from school, going to Jon and Joe's baseball games, hanging out with my two best childhood buddies, Brenna and Katie......and what was the best part of this entire month? Well, one re-getting to know my family. And appreciating "our" chaos, or as my mom say's "Organized Chaos." And two, I appreciated simplicity and solitude. I for the first time in my life, felt at complete peace at home in the middle of nowhere Wisconsin. Yes, I had a fuller email inbox as I prepared to go back to my life in Minneapolis, but I had peace around me.......the woods, the river in my backyard, simple to-do lists.......life in a small town in simple ( like my dad tells me ALL THE TIME) and I finally got that. And enjoyed it. There is a reason simplicty and solitude exist. I can most definitely say they allowed me to 'unplug' from life and just be. Two things I find myself struggle with on a daily basis, continually day in and day out. My mind was clear and my heart was warmed.....family, simplicity, and solitude are awesome.

So, what happened next? Well, that's where I'm at as I write this blog post. I just finished my first week back as a resident of Minneapolis, MN. And how do I feel? Miserable. I'm actually so miserable, that I drove home to Wisconsin for the weekend (which gave me inspiration tonight to write this blog!!!) where I always go when I need a fix of comfort. What did I do this week? I worked part time in CEHD student services, took a class on administering medications for a new gig (side job) I have, caught up with a few friends, moved into my apartment, ran a HUGE amount of errands around the city, and attempted ( and failed miserably) to switch into full power/wonderwoman/normalcy in Minneapolis. But, like I have learned from experience- I used my brain and began to think about why I failed miserably. And here's what I came up with ( thanks for wonderful advice/help from one of my dearest friends, Kari as well as reading a post on one of my FAVORITE website's fro a lifecoach, lifeaftercollege.org and of course, my own experience).....transitions are NEVER easy ( even though I always assume they will be). I'll try and explain a transition using something we can all relate to- a bridge. A bridge's purpose is to connect two places- whether they be islands, pieces of land, highways, you get the jist. If there is no bridge to connect these two places- you can't get anywhere. Which, randomly, reminds me of a chapter in a book I read this fall for my leadership minor field experience class, on building bridges ( will explain later)....And you know what I FAILED to do this week? I totally skipped my bridge. I assumed that my life would go back to where it picked up/left in December of 2009. And now it's June 2010, 5 months later, and I have had yet another incredibly profound experience I failed to incorporate/process into this whole 'bridge equation'. WOOPS. I also realized that this 'bridge' process isn't going to be a short one. Sometimes, going over a bridge can be only a few minutes, sometimes it can take FOREVER ( when there is traffic, car accidents, or it's just generally a long bridge).....my bridge, if I had to guess, will probably take about a month. Or longer. Maybe even a lifetime? Additionally, I'll have to be patient. Not only patient with others, but patient with myself. I think this week, in fact, I hit a lot of traffic.....meetings, catching up with old friends ( which I am incredibly thankful/appreciate of because they were the ones who are and will be helping me cross my bridge), work, moving....etc. My rush hour lasted WAY LONGER than any rush hour I've ever experienced in Minneapolis. And the ironic/but not ironic fact about all of this bridge-ness.......is that I experiened the same thing last summer coming back from South Africa. I was miserable, sad, lonely, lost for about a month.....and slowly it got better. On a side note, when I'm lonely I don't mean this because I don't have friends or things to do......a loneliness that leave you feeling/aching in your heart for your previous experience that you just had ( such as studying abroad--the friends, the experience, the places, the food, etc.). This time around, since I'm a little bit wiser, I'm going to give myself permission to feel all of these 'un fun feelings'.......because they are a part of transitions- whether we like them or not. I''m working on being patient with myself and know that not all of my days in the next few weeks will be the normal " I LOVE LIFE/HAPPINESS DAYS" I usually have....there might be some cloudy and rainy days, too. But that is all a part of life. Most importantly, I'm going to allow myself to be OKAY with all of this. And JUST BE.

A few loose ends to tie up my post.........


A shoutout to some of my most treasured and fabulous friends that made my week 'sunny'- Kate and Laura ( for empathizing and understanding what it is like to come back from being abroad as well as good company with great sushi/seeing sex and the city 2), Michelle ( for making me dinner, making me LAUGH, and making me proud), Christen ( one of my leadership guru/mentors who always offers REAL and inspiring advice & wisdom and continually challenges me to grow in multiple capacities and facets), Casey Daddy ( my other half who got to experience life as an island girl w/ me for 5 glorious months and is my "reason, season, LIFETIME' daddy), Kari ( for moving me into my apartment, awesome hospitality skills, and never says no to 'half price apps and life chats' AND for explaining and allowing me to understand transitions), Whitney ( for always being there for me.....whether it is crying, laughing, eating weird things, fantasizing about our lives, offering advice, will be in my wedding friend)......To look on the brightside ( SOOOOO typical of me), as hard as it is being back in Minneapolis, at least I have these wonderful people to help me through my bridging =)........and one more shout out......TO ME! I saved a dove chocolate wrapper this week that said " Be your own best friend."........I think I'm going to go to a movie by myself this week ( Just Wright--the movie about a physical therapist who falls in love with an NBA star she is rehabbing after a big injury).

ONE LAST THING....I PROMISE!!!!


Tell me how IRONIC/CRAZY/WEIRD it is ( no, this was not planned) that the two movies I watched tonight at home were INVICTUS (South Africa) and am now going to cuddle up in bed with the movie UP.........


Love to all,
Emily